Monthly Archives: November 2009

Kris Kross – I Missed The Bus 12″(1992) vinyl

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Kris Kross is one of the greatest gimmick groups of all time. Better than Insane Clown Posse, better than The Aquabats, better than The Monkees even. Kris Kross, those loveable puppets of Jermaine Durpi, didn’t have to be creative with their gimmick. They just turned their clothes around. That’s it. Clothes turned around. Poof, famous.

I remember when kids would turn their pants around in 3rd grade after recess and pretend they were the super duo. It seemed so cool at the time but thinking back it was nearly impossible to walk and the zipper was on your butt. Yes think about that…the zipper was over your butt. What was Jermaine Dupri trying to tell us regarding his wunderkinds? I think the following picture sums it up nicely.

Black Dracula: So boyz, ya’ll mean ya’llz zipper is right over ya’llz butt cracks?

Kris Kross: Yes Black Dracula.

Black Dracula: Dat, my boyz, iz X-QUISITE!

Kris Kross: JUMP JUMP!

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Click here to download I Missed The Bus

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A1   I Missed The Bus (Backwards To School Mix) 4:00  
A2   I Missed The Bus (School Krossing Mix) 2:56  
  Mixed By – Phil Nicolo
Producer – Andy “Funky Drummer” Kravitz* , Joe “The Butcher” Nicolo , Phil Nicolo
B1   I Missed The Bus (LP Version) 2:59  
  Backing Vocals – Eddie Weathers , Jermaine Dupri
B2   I Missed The Bus (Instrumental) 3:00  

Tears For Fears – Shout US & UK Remix Versions (1984) vinyl

*download below*

Mmmm tasty.  So sweet and juicy…Oh God it’s rolling down my chin. You know what, I don’t even care just let it roll right down to the collar. That’s right, little nectary juice drip just perch right there. Get comfortable that’s a poly/cotton blend no big deal. Breathes and won’t pill.

Do I dare take another bite? Will my frail constitution handle the sheer ecstasy? I don’t know…who cares.

Dig in girl. No nibbling you swallow that whole thing. That’s right take it in. Yeah, you like that. You definitely like it. Oooo that tickles stop that! You know papi’s sensitive. Just work the tip baby. That’s right. Just the tip.

Click here to download the Shout Remixes

Meco – The Wizard of Oz (1978) vinyl

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So yes, this is a disco take on the Wizard of Oz.  I’m pretty sure if there was ever a reason to exclaim FABULOUS! this is it. I mean with the throb disco beat, the Emerald City, ruby slippers, wands and tiaras this might take the cake of gayest album ever. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing…I’m just saying if you were to play this during your drag performance you’d win unanimously.

If Oz were like the back of this album cover men would do everything in their power to get sucked up by a prairie tornado.  After all, in Oz you can be the goofiest asshole ever and still rub nasty with a seemingly normal hot chick. Maybe those chicks are severely mentally disabled or something? Perhaps the wonky fellows of The Emerald City have perfected the science of Roofy Chemistry: instead of making a broad pass out she just puts on something sexy and rubs should blades with you. Hot. But best of all if you’re a creepy little dude donning a salami shirt it’s totally cool to chafe all over the taller folk with reckless abandon.  As long as it’s over the clothes everyone’s SO chill.

Get some, little man. Get some.

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Click here to download The Wizard of Oz to MP3

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Tracklist

A1   Over The Rainbow    
A2   Cyclone    
A3   Munchkinland    
A4   Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead    
A5   Munchkinland (Again)    
A6   We’re Off To See The Wizard (The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz)    
B1   Poppies    
B2   The Spell    
B3   Optimistic Voices    
B4   The Merry Old Land Of Oz    
B5   The Haunted Forest    
B6   March Of The Winkies    
B7   Dorothy’s Rescue    
B8   If I Were King Of The Forest    
B9   Over The Rainbow    
B10   The Reprise

Tomita – Pictures at an Exhibition (1975) vinyl

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Here’s two video previews of lighter songs with the full album for download below.  Take a moment to check the vids out (they’re only about a minute apiece.) The longer songs get pretty far out with the composition and effects Tomita uses.  I really can’t get enough of early Moog electronic music…especially pieces with a quirky Japanese twist.

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Click here to download Pictures at an Exhibition from vinyl

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Tracklist

A1   Promenade 1:30  
A2   The Gnome 3:12  
A3   Promenade 1:02  
A4   The Old Castle 5:18  
A5   Promenade 0:34  
A6   Tuileries 0:55  
A7   Bydlo 3:17  
A8   Promenade 1:00  
A9   Ballet Of The Chicks In Their Shells 1:05  
B1   The Two Jews 3:04  
B2   Limoges/ Catacombs 3:56  
B3   Cum Mortuis In Lingua Mortua 2:06  
B4   Baba Yaga (Hut On Fowls’ Legs) 3:50  
B5   Great Gate Of Kiev 6:14

Yellow Magic Orchestra – X Multiplies (1980) vinyl

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Plant seeds of Devo, Talking Heads, Nintendo Entertainment System soundtracks, Dire Straights and the Beatles in a cabbage patch at the foot of Mt. Fuji.  Fertilize heavily with synthesized voices and ensure exposure to plenty of electronic sunshine.  Creepy Japanese mannequins will begin sprouting in 4 to 6 weeks. Pick after 8 weeks and apply butter as desired.

Click here to download the USA Version of X Multiplies

Tracklist

A1   Nice Age 3:55  
  Electric Guitar – Kenji Ohmura*
Voice [Spoken Vocal] – Sandi*
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Yukihiro Takahashi
A2   Behind The Mask 3:35  
  Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Ryuichi Sakamoto , Yukihiro Takahashi
A3   Rydeen 4:26  
  Written-By – Yukihiro Takahashi
A4   Day Tripper 2:39  
  Electric Guitar – Makoto Ayukawa
Written-By – John Lennon-Paul McCartney*
B1   Technopolis 4:15  
  Written-By – Ryuichi Sakamoto
B2   Multiplies 2:55  
  Written-By – Yellow Magic Orchestra
B3   Citizens Of Science 4:33  
  Backing Vocals – Sandi*
Electric Guitar – Kenji Ohmura*
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Ryuichi Sakamoto
B4   Solid State Survior 3:55  
  Electric Guitar – Makoto Ayukawa
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Yukihiro Takahashi

Edward Elgar – The Dream of Gerontius (Decca OSA 1293) 1972 VINYL DOWNLOAD

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(The Dream of Gerontius) tells the story of a soul’s journey through death, and provides a meditation on the unseen world of Roman Catholic theology. Gerontius (a name derived from the Greek word geron, “old man”) is a devout Everyman. Elgar’s setting uses most of the text of the first part of the poem, which takes place on Earth, but omits many of the more meditative sections of the much longer, otherworldly second part, tightening the narrative flow.

In the first part, we hear Gerontius as a dying man of faith, by turns fearful and hopeful, but always confident. A group of friends (also called “assistants” in the text) joins him in prayer and meditation. He passes in peace, and a priest, with the assistants, sends him on his way with a valediction. In the second part, Gerontius, now referred to as “The Soul”, awakes in a place apparently without space or time, and becomes aware of the presence of his guardian angel, who expresses joy at the culmination of her task (Newman conceived the Angel as male, but Elgar gives the part to a female singer). After a long dialogue, they journey towards the judgment throne.

They safely pass a group of demons, and encounter choirs of angels, eternally praising God for His grace and forgiveness. The Angel of the Agony pleads with Jesus to spare the souls of the faithful. Finally Gerontius glimpses God and is judged in a single moment. The Guardian Angel lowers Gerontius into the soothing lake of Purgatory, with a final benediction and promise of a re-awakening to glory.

That there’s the synopsis of the The Dream of Gerontius as determined by Wikipedia.  It’s the last line of that which really gets to me: “the soothing lake of Purgatory.”  Ok, so I wasn’t raised Catholic but I’m pretty sure that purgatory isn’t all that soothing.  I mean just look at this artist’s rendition of these dead dudes chilling in that lake:

Yeah, those guys’ asses are on fire. Flames lickin’ everything the eye was not meant to see. So, it’s not really that health spa that Wikipedia makes it out to be.

I was raised Mormon and instead of having Purgatory on our plate we had Spirit Prison. That’s right, it was actually called Spirit Prison. Like most other doctrine in the Mormon religion there wasn’t a good explanation of exactly what that meant. I always envisioned I was going to be locked up in some heavenly Super Jail because I lied to my mom about making the neighbor kid eat grass or something. How exactly does one lock up a spirit? Can’t they walk through walls and all that jazz? Do you get conjugal visitation rights? Do spirits bone? Do they have difficulty maintaining satisfying erections after 60 years in the slammer? So many questions left unanswered.

If we’re going to have to deal with a “soothing lake” until we’re cleansed of our earthly asshole tendencies it better look something like this:

Click here to download Disc 1

Click here to download Disc 2

Larry Wolff & The Streetbeaters – Breakdance (1984) vinyl

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Breakdance Music Conductor is the least likely occupation for a guy named Larry. The list of jobs that preceed BMC on Larry’s Hardhat List include but are not limited to sandwich artist, trapeze constructor and savings and loan officer. So it goes without saying that Larry Wolff must have had a tough go at it getting this album pressed. Maybe that’s why I found it still sealed 25 years after its debut in the used record bin at St. Vincent DePaul Thrift Store in St. Bernard.

The songs are so fun loving and catchy it’s really a shame they didn’t make it onto some kooky 80s movie soundtrack.  I could totally see Ralph Macchio poppin’ and lockin’ or maybe Moonwalkin’ to Boogie Bod during the arcade scene in Karate Kid. At least I think there was an arcade scene–is there an 80s movie that doesn’t include a gratuitous screen shot of Ms. Pac Man’s junk?  I mean this album is by Larry Wolff & The Streetbeaters.  Personally I cannot fathom a better artist name to be included on a soundtrack about kicking, punching and manwaxing.

Someone desperately needs to sample this for a new project or I just might keel over and die. I don’t want Larry’s trials and tribulations to have been for nothing.  LARRY WORKED TOO HARD DESTROYING MILK TOAST NAME ASSOCIATIONS, GOD DAMMIT!!!

Click here to download BREAKDANCE

Tracklist

A1   Break It Up 3:35  
A2   Boogie Bod 4:15  
A3   Cultural Eclipse 3:55  
A4   Space Case 3:40  
B1   Moonwalkin’ 4:05  
B2   Barrio Break 3:55  
B3   Real Good 5:00  
B4   Heavy Action 3:23

Francis Lai – A Man And A Woman (Un Homme Et Une Femme) Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1966) vinyl

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Ce disque te donnera un sentiment très sexy. Non seulement qu’il vous incitera à vouloir orner votre maison avec les modes les plus fines de tweed et de velours. Soyez averti : votre amoureux ne sera pas efficace après l’expérience des battements de succulent et d’offre de ce film. Il changera votre vie des manières terribles que vous ne pourriez pas probablement imaginer. Svp don’ ; cri de t, il rendra seulement des choses plus mauvaises. Recherchez juste par votre histoire et texte de téléphone le compagnon le plus attirant. Tout sera parfait.
Bon appetit.
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Tracklist
A1   A Man And A Woman (Orch.) (“Un Homme Et Une Femme”) 2:40  
A2   Samba Saravah (Vocal) 4:30  
  Performer – Baden Powell And Orchestra
A3   Today It’s You (Vocal) (Aujourd ‘hui C’est Toi) 2:06  
A4   A Man And A Woman (Vocal) (“Un Homme Et Une Femme”) 2:37  
A5   Stronger Than Us (Orch.) (Plus Fort Que Nous) 3:15  
B1   Today It’s You (Orch.) (Aujourd ‘hui C’est Toi) 2:35  
B2   In Our Shadow (Vocal) (A L’ombre De Nous) 4:55  
B3   Stronger Than Us (Vocal) (Plus Fort Que Nous) 3:43  
B4   124 Miles An Hour (Orch.) (A 200 A L’heure) 2:30

Daft Punk – Daft Club (2003) Discovery Remixes Vinyl Download

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Daft Club was first introduced online shortly after the French duo dropped Discovery. The songs were available for free download as a bonus for purchasing a legit copy of Discovery.  If you bought this you’ll remember opening up the CD case and finding a curious little Daft Card attached behind the plastic CD nipple thing. Initially the address on the front  just led to their fan page and not much else so it stayed dormant in my wallet for some time.

Luckily I kept checking back periodically and one day found the Daft Club MP3 collection unlocked by the individualized 16-digit number on the card’s face.  At first I was megapumped for a batch of free songs by my fav group but soon found out the horrible truth:  the sound quality was total shit.  I could never get into any of the new original songs or remixes because they literally hurt my ears.  I’m still dumbfounded that MP3s from one of the best produced groups on the globo were plagued with the terrible treble shimmer that dominated low bitrate rips throughout the dawn of the 21st century.

Flashforward to 2005.  I was flipping through the used bin at Everybody’s Records in Pleasant Ridge and what’s this?  Daft Club in all its square foot glory staring, maybe even giggling mischievously, at me in the midst of a slew of anonymous electronic records.  “What are you doing here little man?” I thought.

How could this have happened?  At the time I didn’t even know that Daft Club had made it onto CD, let alone vinyl.  And second who would have let this gem fall into the grabby hands of the used bin?  Somebody fucked up hard.

Long story short, I got this baby home and an everlasting love flourished. We’ve been to several Fancytown Balls, taken several weekend trips down Frogtown Road, and shared endless pints of Rocky Road. I keep her secrets and she mine.

But it might have never happened. I might have been forever stuck with her free floozy sister.  I can’t even imagine. Just the thought of those terrible MP3s puts a terrible ring-a-ling-dingin in my fragile ears.  Luckily baby’s medicine is just down below.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD DAFT CLUB – Password: ratrod

Tracklist

A1   Ouverture 2:40
A2   Aerodynamic (Daft Punk Remix) 6:11
A3   Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (The Neptunes Remix) 5:11
Remix – Neptunes, The
Vocals – Daft Punk
Written-By – E.Birdsong
B1   Face To Face (Cosmo Vitelli Remix) 4:54
Producer – Daft Punk , Todd Edwards
Remix – Cosmo Vitelli
Vocals – Todd Edwards
Written-By – T. Imperatrice
B2   Phoenix (Basement Jaxx Remix) 7:52
Remix – Basement Jaxx
B3   Digital Love (Boris Dlugosh Remix) 7:29
Remix – Boris Dlugosch
Vocals – Daft Punk
Written-By – C. Sosa , G. Duke
C1   Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Jess & Crabbe Remix) 5:58
Remix – Jess & Crabbe
Vocals – Daft Punk
Written-By – E.Birdsong
C2   Face To Face (Demon Remix) 6:59
Producer – Daft Punk , Todd Edwards
Remix – Demon
Vocals – Todd Edwards
Written-By – T. Imperatrice
D1   Crescendolls (Laidback Luke Remix) 5:25
Remix – Laidback Luke
D2   Aerodynamic (Slum Village Remix) 3:36
Remix – Slum Village
D3   Too Long (Gonzales Version) 3:12
Producer – Gonzales
Written-By – A. Moore

Daft Punk – Around The World (Virgin Records America Promotional 12″) 1996 vinyl

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In 8th grade Daft Punk hit the scene and turned my world upside down.  At the time  I was wading in a sea of shitty punk and ska bands at Hopewell Junior School; just barely keeping my head above the turdy foam threateninig to extinguish my angsty being.

Suddenly a lifeboat emerged on the horizon in the shape of Michel Gondry’s stupidly simple yet fantastically brilliant video for Around The World:

My 13-year-old “brain” didn’t know what I was seeing but loved it. The song and the video were such an enigma–how could such basic elements of sight and sound evoke this potent feeling of digital empowerment from deep within my pubescent belly?  I didn’t know then and to be honest I still don’t know now.  But it still gets my ass shake shake shakin none the less.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM

Tracklist

1. Around The World (Tee’s Frozen Sun Mix)

2. Around The World (I:Cube Remix)

3. Around The World (Album Version)

4. Around The World (Motorbass Vice Mix)