Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post
Strawberry shortcake was created in 1977 by an illustrator for American Greetings, as in the greetings card people who also brought you Care Bears. During the following five years the Strawberry Shortcake marketing machine pumped out dozens of characters to populate a truly fruity world full of sweet adventures.
These include lovable dreamies like Plum Puddin’, T. N. Honey, Cherry Cuddler, Café Olé, Lucky Bug, Flitter-Bit, Philbert Wormly III, and the putrescent Peculiar Purple Pieman.
Most characters were packed to the brim with sugar, spice, and a pun that was quite nice. However there was one character whose story is truly tragic. Se llamo es Baby Needs-A-Name.
Let’s meet her, shall we?
Hey wait a minute, that's not Baby Needs-A-Name! That's just Hector being a crybaby. Stop scaring away my readers, you big crybaby!
Well who is this masked baby? Why, it's the Phantom Pooper, making stink you wouldn't believe. But you better believe it, brother, because it's here to stay!
Whoa there, Don, this is a family establishment! Put some clothes on and help us find Baby Needs-A-Name!
Geeze Louise, Vaibhav, right out in the open? Finish up and help us find Baby Needs-A-Name!
You too Trish! And while I don't agree with your religious beliefs I respect your right to worship how you see fit, ya big wethead!
You aren't even a real baby, Reborn Rhonda! Just the extremely lifelike representation, or rather idealized fantastication, of some lonely woman! Get a life!
Baby Leroy, are you ok? Baby Leroy? BABY LEROY? Don't worry, we'll come back and check once we find Baby Needs-A-Name. I promise!
Gosh, Tigerbaby, you sure are cute! But I have to find Baby Needs-A-Name, stop distracting me with your vacant eyes!
Hey Baby, aka Birdman, aka Ronald "Slim" Williams, what in the heck are you doing here?! Nevermind, I'm sorry, stay as long as you'd like. Hey, you haven't seen Baby Needs-A-Name have you? Sorry, right, I know...stupid question.
Jesus, Baby Jessica? Wasn't that like 20 years ago or something. This is getting ridiculous. Where in the Sam Hill is Baby Needs-A-Name???
Oh, God, it's...it's ManBaby Steve from the Costco bulk candy department. I, oh God, yeah I threw up a little. Yep, definitely some corn on my uvula. I don't want to look for Baby Needs-A-Name anymore. Thanks Steve. No, I most certainly don't want to play. Yes, I know what you mean by "play." Please go kill yourself.
Click here to download the strangly hypnotic Strawberry Shortcake LP