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Note the most awkward album signing of the 21st century.

I went to see Themselves at the Southgate House in the winter of 2003 with my brother. At the time I had this little Canon digital camera that took its sweet old time capturing precious moments. So, it could take anywhere from 5 to 10 seconds from the time photographer pressed the clicker to when the shutter snapped.

Anyway, I went up to the merch booth after the show with my brother and struck up a conversation with Dose One. We discussed the show and how I worked with a guy that used to tour with him back in the day. While I was trying to help him remember how he used to rap with a guy I washed Porsches with, a guy named Zebediah, I got the brilliant idea that I should get my freshly purchased albums signed.

I asked Dose if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, to which he replied “hell naw” while whipping out black and silver markers. He signed The No Music original LP with a little black Sharpie drawing on the front. It was really quite adorable. For The Remixes he pulled out the sparkle silver job. I thought, “Yo Boy, you better get this histowic moment on record or your crew will NOT believe it. Word is bond!”

I handed Junior the janky little digi, struck the thumbs-up pose and copped a triumphant smile. Dose did his best to look excited and we froze the pose. And then everything hit slow mo. We both could see the little infrared autofocus light on the front blinking, so we just sat there waiting for the flash. And waited. And waited. I had totally forgotten about the totally unreliable snap. It was the longest 10 seconds of my life.

Suddently, Dose One grabbed my erect thumb and shook it. He grabbed that little dude and went down to Funky Town. What you see in the picture is the immediate aftermath of that member molestation. This wiggle ushered in a total loss of cool…and the moment I decided I’d never get an autograph ever again.

Click here to download The No Music at 320 kbps

Tracklist

A1 Terror Fabulous 4:03
The No Music Of Hospitals.
A2 Hat Set For Butler 2:42
  Remix [Demix] – Themselves
A3 Mouthful 4:12
  Keyboards, Bass, Guitar – Jerome Opena
Remix – Controller 7 , Matth
B1 Good People Check 5:03
  Remix – Hrvatski
B2 Poison Pit 3:15
  Remix – Why?
B3 Livetrap 2:51
  Remix – Hood
The No Music Of Mother’s Milk And Going Deaf.
C1 Only Child Explosion 2:56
  Remix – Alias (3)
C2 Dr.Moonorgun Please 3:20
  Remix – Grapedope*
C3 Darkskydemo 4:18
  Remix – Fog
D1 You Devil You 4:26
  Remix – Odd Nosdam
D2 Out In The Open 5:35
  Remix – Notwist, The
D3 Hat In The Wind 7:13
  Remix – Electric Birds