Tag Archives: 70′s

Environments Disc 4: The Psychologically Ultimate Thunderstorm and Synthetic Silence (1974) VINYL DOWNLOAD

Torrential thunderstorms and close calls with tornadoes rocked Cincinnati this past week. Unfortunately, the skies are once again deep blue with a spattering of fluffy white clouds. As such, I felt it appropriate to upload an album which brings us back to the good old times of flash floods and hydroplaning on Route 50′s blind bend outside of Turkey Bottom. Rainbabies and splishsplashers alike, please enjoy a “Totally New Concept In Sound.”

I also felt that this is a good album to showcase what exactly vinyl ripping programs like Audacity can do to help remove the clicks and pops from well-loved discs. I bought this album at Shake-It Records for $1.99. It’s seen its share of turntables and accrued a king’s ransom of grime and scuffs over the past 36 years. Disc 4′s slutty past makes it a perfect candidate for my celebrity makeover.

The first step I always take with dirty, naughty little discs is to give them a nice bath using a synthetic fiber paint brush,  mild dish or hand soap and lukewarm water. I make a soapy water solution in a small bowl and apply it heartily to the brush. Then, I use said brush to gently scrub the disc in the direction of the grooves. I take as much care not to scrub too hard and add anymore scratches. Next, rinse thoroughly. Finally, I dry it all off with a microfiber hand mitt I bought from Big Lots. Don’t waste your money on magic disc solvents, my friends. It will only lead to heartache.

Next, I pop the bad boy on the SL-10 and record. There’s a whole lot of hulabaloo that happens here but I’m going to keep that private. Some secrets are just too delicious.

Once the slippery, exhausted digital copy gets onto Audacity I take a listen and look-see to see how many of the violent offenders remain. Here’s a visual of what the sound signature of this disc’s second side looks like fresh off the spinner.

What happens next is a bit of voodoo magic. There’s a little de-clicking mechanism on Audacity that takes most of the fuzz out of records. The only catch is that if you set the parameters too aggressively on the de-click it will take some of the fidelity out of your recording. So, you have to balance what you find acceptable with clicks and what sound you’re willing to lose in order to have a clean disc.

I’ve been through a fair amount of de-clicking sessions and think I’ve found a pretty decent balance between cleanliness and bangin’ sound. Here’s a pic of the sound signature Side 2 has after going through the Audacity de-click process.

You’ll notice that there are still a few spikes on the register, especially toward the end. Even using the most ferocious setting on the de-click tool some little blips will always be present from the original record. In most cases they look much worse on the visualization than they sound when listening. It’s really all subjective; some will say you should leave every click because it keeps the soul of the record. Others demand you clean that shit up…it’s gross and you’re going to stain the carpet.

I like to go on a case by case basis on when I should ”fix” a disc and how many pops I like to remove. Usually I find that the discs I want to clean up the most benefit the least from using the Audacity software. That’s just how things work sometimes.

There’s a lot I’m leaving out here about the actual conversion process but I just wanted to basically show that it’s somewhat possible to clean up your soiled discs. But don’t get your hopes up about removing the effects of that killer scratch from your Doobie Brothers album. You shouldn’t have gotten drunk and started throwing license plates around in the first place, idiot.

>>>Click here to download Environments Disc 4

Tracklist

A   The Psychologically Ultimate Thunderstorm Running Time: 30:54  
B   Gentle Rain In A Pine Forest (Synthetic Silence)  Running Time: 35:28

Nick Drake – Bryter Layter (1970) Vinyl Download

 

There are now over 100 albums on Rebuilt Tranny’s Rat Rod Record Exchange. Instead of celebrating I’m going to hand over a sad album to the internet community. I’ve lost so many hours uploading the Rainbow Goblins Story, countless Daft Punk records, cacophonous machinery, and too - many – remixes.  

I could have spent all of that LP-twirling doing something worthwhile: watching Red Dwarf episodes on Netflix. 

British Sci-Fi Comedy is the only reason to live.

 But before I digress, let’s get back to the actual subject of this post for just a second. Nick Drake, English folk rock extraordinaire, also felt like he was in a life filled with waste. Despite albums filled with tonally rich yum-yums, he continually failed to sell more than a few thousand albums for each release.

No one really knows why he couldn’t push units. Some say it was because he hated performing. Others say it’s because he avoided interviews at all costs. And then there are those who point to the fact that he was never, EVER captured on video. 

But I know the real truth. 

Nick hugged the electric cactus by overdosing on antidepressants 14 years before Red Dwarf even hit the air. He never got to see the pinnacle of British television. He never got to see how cats would evolve 3 million years in the future (they turn into humans with sharp canines, James Brown dance moves, and impeccable taste in Nudie-style suites.) He only had Dr. Who…and his suicide-enducing scarf. 

Seriously, kill me now.

 So, I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad about my lot. I do feel fortunate I had the opportunity to see that episode where Lister became impregnated by the female-alternate-universe-version of himself. That was bloody hilarious! 

Maybe if Nick had witnessed the comedic gold presented in the following clip we’d still have him with us today. 

 

I’m just be glad I’m still kickin’, my record player is still spinnin’, and I haven’t fried my new hard drive during the hours of conducting the vinyl-to-MP3 train. 

I hope to bring another 100 albums online in the next year and then 100 more after that. 

This album is a reminder that you should always be thankful for what you have and remember, there are always lots more juicy tunes just a click away. 

>>Click to download Bryter Layter 

The Tomita Planets (1976) Japanese Electronic Vinyl Download

***Warimashi! You can also find Holst’s original classical version of The Planets, conducted by Sir Adrian Boult, by clicking here!

Does anyone want to visit outer space anymore? I doubt that anyone could find any allure in sporting a big, airtight body-diaper and leaving the comfy oxygen bubble surrounding Earth. I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t get any 3G coverage up there. So, you couldn’t even bitch to your friends on Facebook about how totally boring the endless panaroma of our planet, viewed from a freely-floating spacesuit, can really be. Plus, your umbilical cord to the space shuttle totally wouldn’t match your moonboots. Um, so lame.

But I remember, not too long ago in the great scheme, when things were much different. Back in my day, when kids ate coal and shit diamonds, we had this little show called Double Dare. Kids would risk life and limb climbing through metric tons of fake earwax and green gooble-dee-goop to capture little red flags. It was tough work, by George, and many kids lost limbs, important limbs, wading through that synthetic muck. Also, Mark Summers was there but he wasn’t unwrapping the mystery of how Nutter-Butters are made…instead he was turning boys’ nuts into butter on the obstacle course.

So, why oh why did these kids take such sticky risks for such tiny red flags? Two words: SPACE CAMP.

This child abuse was outlawed after Congress passed the Summers Bill in ’89.

That girl at the beginning is having a BLAST in that awkward astroscope. Bad touch, bad touch!

Back in the 80′s, when it wasn’t exploding, the space shuttle was rocking back and forth from the USA to OUTER SPACE. Up and down and round and round it went. Back then we felt the whole thing was just some horribly dangerous and vulgarly expensive workout session for the real deal: Outer Outer Space. You know, past the moon, which we (the good guys) first visited in 1969. It was universally assumed that, sooner or later, Admiral Reagan would tell the boys, “That’s good enough. You’ve trained like true Americans. Now, I want you to aim that big ol’ stick right at Mars and bring back a damn Alien for the Gipper. So let it be written, so let it be done.”

But, somehow, the nation got distracted by all sorts of things…the end of the Cold War, MTV, Tony Danza, Sega Genesis, Melrose Place…beautiful beasts that seeped into our televisions and stole air time from NASA and their team of gee whizzers. And before you knew it we had even more cable channels and we didn’t have to watch the same old boring news clips of that Interatmospheric Baluga’s migration patterns anymore. Soon, no one gave a damn about what bizarre insect mating rituals NASA’s astronauts observed in zero gravity. We were all too busy letting Hollywood give us a tutorial on 21st century virtual reality bonin’.

Eventually, space was out. What’s the point of strapping yourself onto a guided bomb and risking your life when you can experience the same deal at home on your PS3? I mean, subwoofers have gotten pretty good…you can almost feel the second-stage rocket boosters right on your Gucci. And, after all, real space is pretty boring. There aren’t any aliens with plasma rifles. There aren’t any richly detailed story plots with 60+ hours of play time. There aren’t any bulbous spacelady boobs. Well, not that we know of. At least I don’t know about them. If you know of any space boobs, please, Motorola two-way page me.

We have lift off.

 Space is just a sad, broken old man on the corner of McMillan and Vine. Someone told you that he used to be the head train conductor for the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad when it ran out of Union Terminal. That may be true, but all you know is that he smells like piss and Wild Irish Rose. And pistachios…is it pistachios? No, I think it’s pecans.

Let’s take a trip back for second to when this man had his suit pressed on a weekly basis. Back to when you could set your watch to the crease in his crotch. Back to when the God damn whole world was pulled behind a magnificent silver train, hell bent on reaching the world of tomorrow not a minute too late.

………And when Japanese space electronica was way in.

>>>Click here to download The Tomita Planets at 320 kbps

The videos don’t really do the sound justice but the concept is really cool. I’d like to get my hands on this VHS some day. Just because.

The Band – The Best Of (1976) Vinyl Download

Does anyone else envision hobos doing all sorts of hobo things when they listen to this album? I mean this is a great album but I just imagine…

A hobo blowing his nose into a used diaper.

A hobo promising to pay a cobbler with three questionable cans of sardines.

A hobo inexplicably sweeping a lonely stretch of train track.

A hobo drowning his sorrows in a bottle of gin because of his messy divorce from a mongrel dog named Scraps.

A hobo sneezing one of those really gross snot bubbles, complete with just a hint of blood.

A hobo who takes credit for unsuccessfully aborting César Chávez.

A hobo wearing suspenders…funny ones.

A hobo using coal dust to polish his shoes in anticipation of the Frogtown Ball.

A hobo with unquenchable dry mouth, brought on by worry that Halfpint Jim discovered he peed in the local swimming hole again.

A hobo who continually waxes nostalgic about his time as rig foreman for Standard Oil…but everyone knows he’s full of shit.

A hobo with a set of disturbingly pearly whites.

A hobo who toured as roadie for Bob Dylan until he mistakingly asked what foreign tongue Dylan used.

A hobo with a life-threatening urinary tract infection.

A hobo with soft hands and deliciously hot breath.

A hobo who stole The Golden Spike and sold it for 10 tickets to a 5 cent peep show.

A hobo midget with a Kings Island Gold Pass.

A hobo with a heart of fool’s gold.

Download The Best of The Band at 320 kbps

Harvey Scales – Hot Foot (A Funque Dizco Opera) 1979 Vinyl Download

 

This album is funky. It has a solid funk foundation…think if Ohio Players and Donna Summers had a baby…a really sweaty baby. This moist infant was funky enough to be sampled in the Beastie Boys track “Shake Your Rump”. 

 

 

Fun facts are all well and good for funk aficionados but I am only concerned with two things. Two things that, with a single flash, could put an end to all famine and strife on our planet and bring the Earth’s brothers and sisters together in a thousand-year reign of sexual satisfaction. 

Those two things, of course, are the left and right eyes set deeply in the skull of Harvey Scales. 

I just want a nibble, baby.

Well hello there, I’m glad you could make it. My grandmother calls me Harvey but you can call me Hot Foot. No, wait, don’t leave baby just sit down! You don’t want to sit? Ok, that’s fine…you stand right there and I’ll drink you all in. You’re a tall drink of water, haha. Yeah, tall and sweet like grandmama’s summertime peach tea. I bet I could finish you in one gulp too, girl, haHA! No, wait, baby don’t cry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry come back. I promise I’ll mind my manners. Yeah, I’m sorry girl…I’ll just take baby sips and mind my manners. Yeah, that’s better. You want to blow your nose on my handkerchief? You sure. Baby, it’s silver, you sure? Ok that’s fine baby. Damn your hair looks soft…where you get it done? Trina’s? No? That Korean place down on the corner of 7th and Broadway? Can I smell it…it looks fragrant…fragrant like Egyptian Cocoa Butter…No wait baby please don’t call the police! 

Beware the bramble patch past witching hour!

 Yes, girl, your car keys are somewhere here within the confines of my all-expenses-paid Safari Suite. Maybe they’re under that gen-u-wine zebra-skin rug. Hmmm, no…no. They probably under that shining mountain of highly flammable jumpsuits in the corner. Baby, we could look all day and never find them in that synthetic mish-mash of lapels and zippers but why? We should just relax in this loveseat made of gazel butts, sip on this big ass bottle of Corbel and just get lost in each other’s eyes. What you think, baby? I wore my best onesie today just for you. It shows my manhood in all sorts of provocative ways. Just let me unzip it a little. You see what I’m sayin? It breathes baby, and the world breathes back. 

A friendly giant.

Oh damn girl, you just fainted and everything. Shit, like a damn Georgia Oak. That, that’s ok. Come here, my slumbering princess; yeahhh. You just sit here right on my lap. Whoa, whoa don’t slide girl. Damn jumpsuit slippier than a motherfuck. Don’t worry baby, I’ll keep you safe. Just squeeze your hips like a teddy bear. Shit, girl, your hair is fragrant. Just like Egyptian Cocoa Butter…aahhhhh. You’re my little Cocoa Crisp, yeah. You just sleep here forever girl, right here on papa’s lap…daddy gonna take care of you.  Don’t ever wake up…not unless you want a taste of Hot Foot’s ring. 

Click here to download Hot Foot (A Funque Dizco Opera) at 320 kbps

Walter Carlos – By Request (1975) Vinyl Download

The album cover was altered to say Wendy after Carlos underwent sex reassignment surgery. Note that cartoon Carlos is still male.

There are a lot of tasty fun facts about Walter Carlos. First off, he was the she that composed the Clockwork Orange soundtrack. The second is that Walter, later Wendy, is the only Father and Mother of Electronic Music. However, the most mysterious tid bit that stuck out in the hard-hitting Wikipedia article about Carlos was two curious words: Faraday Cage.

"Scientist" in a tiny, tiny Faraday Cage.

Scientific pursuits for the benefit of mankind.

A Faraday Cage is a special room that’s typically used to protect electronic devices such as industrial computer equipment from outside sources of electronic interence like lightning strikes or power surges. The Faraday Cage comes in handy for NASA when maintaining Tom Hanks’ neuronet processor during his bi-annual checkup. And, as the previous photo illustrates, it’s critical for protecting fedora-donning dumb dumbs from homemade tesla coils.

 As any audiophile will tell you, the foundation of solid sound is clean electricity. Improper grounding and interference from appliances sucking your Jiggawatts can really throw a monkeybone into gears of the best-planned stereo system.

One of my apartments in Clifton during my college days had ungrounded outlets. This really played havoc on my home theater’s subwoofer by causing the most terrible buzzthumping. The only remedy was continually lassoing the connective cable around my apartment until it meshed with the friendly electromagnetic frequency of the day. Or something like that.

Getty Images just spit in your mom's hair. Pictured is Walter pre-op.

On her website Carlos’ explains how her NYC neighbor’s mood lighting would mess with her home studio recordings:

Oh, yes, those are the remote controls for the various tape machines that you see on the far left, and just above, on the meter housing for the console, is a pair of Phase Linear Autocorrelators. These were a pretty decent single ended noise reduction devices that we had to use during the late 70′s due to power buzzes that came from the light dimmers in the brownstone next door (not amusing). I’d nearly forgotten about that nightmare, since (as I just mentioned) the console is now immune to such things, and the new studio, in being a genuine Faraday Cage (conductive walls, ceiling and floor, tied to common ground) is truly free from essentially all external signal contaminants.  

Carlos' Frankensteinian Sound Cruncher

Just imagine Wendy flipping her shit as she went through countless wires trying to figure out which one was the harbinger of the dreaded analog buzz. However, she couldn’t freak out too hard because violent convulsions might, ahem, rip out the stiches that kept her womanhood roaring.

So basically Carlos was and is a mad scientist. She still toils her hours away by torturing electronic equipment into screaming the desired tone in her gigantic, eletronically-inert box. But we shouldn’t fear her for, as you will see after listening to By Request, the ends justify the end. And that’s always what’s most important…right?

Wendy Carlos: The Original Rebuilt Tranny

Wendy Carlos: The Original Rebuilt Tranny

Click here to download By Request at 320 kbps

Tracklist

A1   Three Dances From “Nutcracker Suite” 5:20  
A2   Dialogues For Piano And 2 Loudspeakers 4:00  
A3   Episodes For Piano And Electronic Sound 5:50  
A4   Geodesic Dance (Electronic Etude) 3:21  
A5   Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 In F Major 5:50  
B1   “Little” Fugue In G Minor 3:44  
B2   What’s New, Pussycat? 2:05  
B3   Eleanor Rigby 2:06  
B4   Wedding March 1:12  
B5   Pompous Circumstances 12:00

 

Meat Loaf – Bat Out Of Hell (1977) Vinyl Download

*download below*

I was always under the assumption that Michael Lee Aday, better known as Meat Loaf the man, was behind the music and lyrics for this album. Wrong. These songs were all composed by a guy named Jim Steinman. His name is displayed prominently at the top of newer releases of Bat Out Of Hell so there’s no confusion as to who is the true maestro. Never heard of Jim Steinman? Well, you may notice some of the other hits he’s written and produced:

Yes, he wrote “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” one of the greatest jukebox masterpieces of all-time. You can’t go wrong putting this on late at night, preferably after 1 a.m. when everyone is good and sauced. Once the climax kicks in you’ll be locked arm-in-arm with people you just met, screaming “I need you now tonight…I FUCKIN’ NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER!” It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Ok, so still a decent song. I mean, if you were a 15-year-old, heartbroken girl in 1983 this was a decent song. Maybe Jim Steinman is really a teenage girl controlling a mechanized adult male android. I don’t have enough proof, yet, so let’s see if we can find a concrete answer in some of his other work.

Oh God…..Jim Steinman is the Anti-Christ. Very clever, Jim–making us fall in love with your “Meat Loaf”. Then, when we least expected it, BAM! You unleashed your Hell Banshee upon us.

Son of a bitch, now I can’t turn off this song. It has me in its wicked grasp….I’ll never escape Celine’s brain-stabbing vocals. DAMN YOU JIM STEINMAN!!!

Click here to download Bat Out Of Hell at 320 kbps

Marvin Gaye – Here, My Dear (1978) Vinyl Download

I had never realized how torn Marvin Gaye’s life was until I saw his biography on American Masters  a couple of weeks ago. The show portrayed Gaye as a man who was always tormented by good and evil influences that continually swirled around him. These influences led him in two directions: one toward God and one toward drugs, mainly cocaine. These criss-crossing paths took him to the pinnacle of musical success but also took a huge dump on his personal life.

The storm raging between his two worlds finally spilled out into the public with his album Here, My Dear in 1978, as explained below.

During the amazing success of I Want You and his stellar Live at the London Palladium album, Marvin Gaye was served with divorce papers from his then-wife Anna Gordy Gaye (sister of Motown Records founder Berry Gordy). One of the conditions of the settlement was that Gordy Gaye would receive an extensive percentage of royalties as well as a portion of the advance for his next album. Initially, Gaye was contemplating giving less than his best effort, as he wouldn’t stand to receive any money, but then reconsidered at the last moment. The result is a two-disc-long confessional on the deterioration of their marriage.  -  allmusic

Many people feel that the turmoil and heartache behind this album helped make it one of the greatest soul albums of all time.

However, I don’t feel that Mr. Marvin was really feeling all that heartbroken.

He’d been openly dating Janis Hunter, his backup singer and soon-to-be wife, for several years prior to his divorce from Anna. So what was the really the driving force behind one of the highest acclaimed soul albums of all time?

Now, I’m sitting here listening to this album and trying to figure out if some mysterious force was hurting Marvin during this whole thing, if he wanted people to just believe he was hurting or if he was really fucked up on cocaine and pumped out a great album.

Musically it’s spot on. If one didn’t know the album’s back story you’d have no problem just zoning out and absorbing the sweet sounds. This is why, many times, I just let the music speak for the artist and don’t delve into their personal life. But PBS brought Marvin’s deep dark secrets and spewed them all over my living room, so now I have to know.

So, I’m pretty sure the simple answer behind this album’s brilliance is cocaine, China White…Baby’s Blossom, Heman’s Dandruff, Tolstoy’s Tears……and lots of it. By 1979 ”Marvin’s world was collapsing — his second marriage fell apart, his drug addiction flared out of control, the IRS seized his property. He moved from Los Angeles to Hawaii to London to Ostend, Belgium,” according to Marvin Gaye Biographer David Ritz.

If you listen to his monologue at the beginning of the title track “Here, My Dear” and compare that voice to any of his monologues from What’s Going On you’ll notice that his lung licorice has a decidedly different tone. It’s not the tone of heartache…no tinge of tear-soaked mourning. It’s the tone of a man who starts his day with California Cornflakes, extra sweet. A man who’s sleeping with Aunt Nora. A man who enjoys a good Sleigh Ride any time of the year.

Yes Here, My Dear is a great listen. But take it as one hell of a cocaine-fueled album about love…not driven by it.

Think I’m wrong? I’d love to hear your take on where the real soul of this album lies.

Click here to download Here, My Dear at 320 kbps

Tracklist

A1   Here, My Dear 2:48 X
A2   I Met A Little Girl 4:58 X
A3   When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You 6:11 X
A4   Anger 3:58 X
    Written-By – Delta Ashby , Ed Townsend
B1   Is That Enough 7:42 X
B2   Everybody Needs Love 5:41 X
    Written-By – Ed Townsend
B3   Time To Get It Together 3:51 X
C1   Sparrow 6:06 X
    Written-By – Ed Townsend
C2   Anna’s Song 5:49 X
C3   When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You (Instrumental) 5:59 X
D1   A Funky Space Reincarnation 8:12 X
D2   You Can Leave, But It’s Going To Cost You 5:27 X
D3   Falling In Love Again 4:36 X
D4   When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You (Reprise)

A Royal Hudson – The Action Sounds of Steam Railroading in British Columbia (1975) Vinyl Download SB4 4504

*full download below*

The majority of this album was recorded in the mountainous regions around Vancouver in 1974. Since the XXI Winter Olympics are currently unfolding in the same terrain I figured it’s a perfect time to post A Royal Hudson.

With the exception of small tourist getups, I’ve never seen a steam train muscling its way through the countryside. I can only imagine, after listening to this album, that it must be a heavy spectacle. The way the steel beast roars and echoes through the mountain passes on A Royal Hudson can at times be terrifying.

While listening to this I kept imagining that I was an injured baby fawn, perhaps with a split hoof and a mother killed by an unlicensed hunter, trapped on the tracks over the Capilano River–unable to move or comprehend what strange, fire-breathing monster laid in wait around the bend. The fear was overwhelming but thankfully the end will be quick. I hope.

**Album Notes From the Back Liner

Side 1

(1) 5:52

Ferry boat horns,sea gulls, and other delightful park woods sounds abound in this early October 1974 morning, as No. 2860, a beautifully restored ex-Canadian Pacific Royal Hudson, departs the North Vancouver area, northbound forSquamish. Our quadraphonic microphone is located just west of the Capilano River bridge that separates North Vancouver from West Vancouver.

(2) 3:46

The breathtakingly beautiful mountains that surround Squamish, B.C., provide a unique echo chamber for the whistle of Royal Hudson No. 2860, as she heads southbound of North Vancouver.

(3) 4:25

Kew Road in West Vancouver, a very fashionable suburb of the greater Vancouver area, plays host to the 4-6-4 daily during the Summer months except Tuesdays. What fun!

(4) 1:38

North Britannia, deep rockwall cut, and a 2% grade provide the stage, Engineer Frank Smith coaxes the star, and the result? A stellar performance by the object of just about everybody’s affection.

(5) 2:52

Burkehill Road, West Vancouver, first No. 2860 works her way over the crossing and past our microphone location. But then do we detect second No. 2860, on another track perhaps? About the only way we can describe this entire band, “twice is nice.”

Side 2

A cab ride! Yep, almost as good as leaning out the right hand side of the cab window yourself, and waving to everybody who turned out to see a Royal Hudson steam and whistle by today.

Your very own right hand seat box trip will include–

The air test and time signal over two way radio at North Vancouver;

pulling out of North Vancouver Station;

crossing the Capilano River bridge entering West Vancouver;

on the northbound grade from milepost 6-7 and 8-10;

the North Britannia grade through two tunnels yet.

All of the sequences noted above, have been edited or otherwise condensed from over one hour of actual recorded time, into twenty-one minutes of pure joy.

Important Special Notice

The British Columbia Ry. Observes all rules and regulations prescribed in the Uniform Code of Railway Operating Rules for Canada. However, certain liberties were taken during the actual recording scenes, particularly with the whistle signals; which are meant solely as entertainment and does not imply improper adherence to the Uniform Code by the British Columbia Ry.

–Enjoy!–

Click to download the sounds of a Royal Hudson

Specifications of Royal Hudson 2860

Built:  June, 1940, Montreal Locomotive Works

Shop Number: 69292

Class: H-1e

Drivers: 75-inch

Cylinders: 22×30-inch

Boiler Pressure: 275 pounds per square inch

Tractive Effort: 42,250 (with booser: 57,250) pounds

Total Weight: 657,500 pounds

Water Capacity: 12,000 imperial gallons

Fuel Capacity: 4,100 imperial gallons

Porno Groove – The Sound of 70′s Adult Films vinyl download

Download link taken down at the record label’s request, but….you can purchase this album here!

This is a throwback selection of tracks from various porn films during the 70′s. The record label contests that this disc ”is  much more than your stereotypical ‘whacka-chicka’ music.” The music’s style does vary throughout the disc but always keeps embracing lovers randy n’ dandy. It’ll also bring solo males to a state of maximum plumpage during their matinée viewing of equal parts deep penetration and moist pube lube.

The titles of these tracks and the movies in which they played in are simply hilarious:

SIDE A
01. Grateful Head (from “Jaynee’s Woodstock Adventure”)
02. In My El Camino (from “The Beaver Hunter”)
03. Gus On The Bus (from “The Traveling Salesman”)
04. Sweet Juices (from “Honeydew”)
05. Special Delivery (from “Lonely Mrs. Johnson”)

SIDE B
01. Dr. Mann’s Prescription (from “Insatiable”)
02. Do You Dance? (from “Right of Passage”)
03. O (from “The Story of Y”)
04. Carma’s Theme (from “Studio 69”)
05. Malibu High (from “Ride Me Like A Wave”)
06. Two Is Better Than One (from “Rosemary Cloney”)

I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have been a porn enthusiast back in the day. True aficionados were really dedicated to the cause because it wasn’t just a keyword, a click and presto: titties all up in your face . No, no, no these men had to make their way downtown or to the closest highway off ramp and visit a theatre built explicitly for X-rated films. In this theatre of sin they sat in crusty seats with a gang of other creeps and watched “The Beaver Hunter.” It was a team effort with plenty of side-glancing and glad-handing.

I wonder if the porno patrons would get popcorn for the movie. Just imagine how hard it would be to balance a tub of popcorn on your lap with one hand while you’re playing a furious game of pocket pool with the other. You’d spill it all over your lap, you’d have grease stains soaking your nice baby blue leisure suite…Jesus, how embarrassing. Well, if you split a bucket with a friend it wouldn’t be so bad. Just wedge that monster right between the outside of his and your thighs and really dig in as a pair. Only trouble is you’d have to match a lefty with a righty and that’s a whole other story right there.

God, what it must have smelled like in there. All those mustachioed, tinted-prescription glasses-wearing hombres workin’ up a deep sweat. Tricklin’ all over the place in a poorly ventilated theatre with a roof that most likely leaked as well. Mildewed carpet, mildewed walls, mildewed man parts. Oh, the humanity.

Hopefully this video, sans music from the throbbin’ record, will get your mind off of the aroma of dewy man sack swallowed whole by cheap polyester seat cushions.