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Tag Archives: 80’s

Danny Elfman is the Evil King of the Gingers. This title affords him all sorts of red magic, charms and glitter powers.  Since 1984 he’s been using his quartet of fetish dolls to perform terrible tasks to make life terribly good for him.

The first black kitty cat with the squiggly zipper stomach on the left  landed him the gig of as soundtrack composer for every Tim Burton film ever made. It did this, of course, by breaking into Burton’s duplex in the middle of a full-mooned night.  Once inside, little kitty found Burton and made fun of his silk pajamas well past the break of dawn. Burton’s spirit was quickly broken–he handed over full soundtrack rights for the next century to Elfman by mid-afternoon.

The other three, especially Skeleton Jack over there, wrastled Elfman composer duties for the theme song to The Simpsons. You see, 20 years ago Matt Groening was really into training Shetland Ponies for the show circuit. It was basically the only thing he lived for. He enjoyed doodling every now and then but it was basically ponies for life. That is, until one night, when the Ginger Trio arrived.

Well, you know the rest…they poisoned his pony, Mr. Trickets, and promised the antidote in return for a contract to a show he’d have to create. And not just a show, a cartoon with yellow people. Lots of them. Too many to keep track of unless you watched the show every week for 20 years. And somehow Groening fulfilled his end of the bargain and got the antidote. But the fetish dolls killed the pony anyway the next evening by Burger King overdose.

All right, fuck this.

All I can think about while writing is the little field mouse that died in my apartment this week. He didn’t even get the dignity of dying in a trap laced with peanut butter or anything. No, somehow he squeezed his tiny body into my box fan and lost his life to a great spinning electric monster he couldn’t possibly understand.

He escaped a Kentucky’s midsummer monsoon by finding a dry 19th century home. He even made it up to the second floor to assure he was totally out of harm’s way. Once he wiggled his way through what I assume was a heating duct he was clever enough to outsmart two dark cats. Keep in mind that these cats are accomplished mouse hunters; both trained in the jungles of Clifton.

And all I can think about is that dead, chopped up mouse and Danny Elfman’s lyrics from the song on this 12″: “Life’s been so good to me, has it been good to you? Has it been everything that you’d expected it to be? Was it as good for you, as it was good for me? And was it everything that it was all set up to be?”

Well, that mouse probably heard this album pumping through my abode right before he died.  Sure, he might not  have understood English but I know he felt the vibes…I just know it. And I can safely say that his life was not as good for him as it was for you, Mr. Elfman. You are such an asshole.

Download Gratitude

>>>BONUS!!!  You can also find the full LP from whence this track came (Danny Elfman – So-Lo) for download on this site here. It’s so choice.

Tracklist

A Gratitude (Extended Dance Version) 6:44
B1 Gratitude (Tornado Version) 7:05
B2 Gratitude (Short Version) 4:42

There’s a new record store in Cincy called Another Part of The Forest that has a TON of awesome singles from the 80′s. I picked up a few while I was there this past week and will be back soon to feed my craving. Many of those singles all came from one huge collection with handwritten notes on each album cover. I feel bad for the DJ that had to let go of his preciouses. Everyone keep this New Wave Club Kid, whoever he/she is, in their prayers.

May Stacey Q smile upon you once again, my fallen turntable warrior.

Praise be unto Stacey.

>>>Click here to download the Two of Hearts 4-Song Single at 320 kbps

Tracklist

A Two Of Hearts (Vocal / European Dance Mix) 6:00
B1 Two Of Hearts (Instrumental) 4:39
B2 Two Of Hearts (Vocal / Radio Edit) 3:58
B3 Stacey’s Dream (A Capella) 2:32

*download album below*

Ok, so this is the most important piece music of the 20th century. Yes, you read that correctly. In 1982 L. Ron Hubbard introduced Space Jazz, the first ever soundtrack to a book (not just any book…Battlefield Earth!!!) and forever altered the creative path of human history. Many historians credit this album with slaying the incredible high-hat breathing Disco Dragon. Others blame it for laying the Yoshi egg that hatched Lady Gaga. However, there’s much more to this story than hilarious musings…

Exhibit A!

(from the album gatefold)

SPACE JAZZ is a completely new musical sound destined to be hailed as the music of the future. The many and varied forms of music are an integral part of the cultural heritage of Earth.

Now, the sound of the future has been established by L. RON HUBBARD, author of the blockbuster science fiction novel Battlefield Earth.

The concept of a soundtrack is something one normally associates with motion pictures. Now for the first time ever–a soundtrack for a book–Battlefield Earth–”Space Jazz.” Think of the “Star Wars” Sagas, and “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” mix in the triumph of “Rocky I,” “Rocky II” and Rocky III” and you have captured the exuberance, style and glory of “Battlefield Earth”–The Evening Sun, Baltimore MD.

Consider the magnitude of the challenge Hubbard set himself. Conventional musical instruments and even huge symphony orchestras have their limitations. He turned to the technology of the future–computers.

Recent breakthroughs in computer musical instruments offered the needed versatility to match his new musical concepts.

Today, a computer is able to reproduce any natural sound. It can record a single note of a musical instrument and from that reproduce the rest of the instrument.

But better yet, it can take any sound and turn this into a rhythm. A coyote can sing the blues. A horse can tap dance. Liquid can splash out a Strauss waltz. Laser beams can hum a lullaby. You name it and you can get it

Yes, L. Ron Hubbard took the most technologically advanced musical instrument of the time, the Fairlight Computer Musical Instrument, and used it to recreate the sonic feast of a horse tapdancing! Thank your stars L. Ron Hubbard was one of the first people to get his hands on the $25,000 Fairlight CMI and thus create this epic masterpiece. What follows is just a small sampling of L. Ron Hubbards musical pioneering.

Exhibit B!

Be sure to carefully absorb the rich tonal haunches in this track. The playful neighs of the heroic horse Windsplitter, created through the Fairlight CMI’s digital processor, stir feelings of hope within the listener that, yes, man, beast and machine can coexist peacefully in a world free of Psychlos.

Exhibit C!

 

L. Ron Hubbard used his Hubbard Electrometer to test if tomatoes felt emotional pain. Seriously, check out this UK Telegraph article.

Ok, so I took a long time to trying to figure out exactly what this album was all about. I looked for hidden answers about Scientology in the ridiculous anti-stereo narration. I then looked for some sort of psychic pattern in the horribly repetitive and shrill synthesized filler “music”. Finally, I sought solace in the suspiciously mundane track titles:

1. Golden Era of Sci Fi

2. Funeral For A Planet

3. March of The Psychlos

4. Teri, The Security Director

5. Jonnie

6. Windsplitter

7. The Mining Song

8. The Drone

9. Mankind Unites

10. Alien Visitors Attack

11. The Banker

12. Declaration of Peace

13. Earth, My Beautiful Home

But I didn’t experience even a single mysterious revelation from on high.

So I listened again. And again. And again. And upon my umpteenth listen, just as Space Jazz began evoke memories of my endless hours spent playing Oregon Trail 2, the answer blasted itself all over my face: L. Ron Hubbard was the greatest practical joker of all time.

His absurdly bogus biography, his hackneyed bibliography, his intensely whacko yet ridiculously profitable Scientology cult had all been part of the greatest monkeyshine ever unleashed on mankind. The man was a hybrid of Andy Kaufman’s unflinching, rabble-rousing comedy with  Joseph Smith’s pied-piper espièglerie–now that’s saying something.

The aural assault Space Jazz makes complete sense when you view L. Ron’s life in that light. You could even say this composition was the punchline to a lifetime of pocket-emptying tomfoolery.

So, Xenu bless you, L. Ron Hubbard…you hilarious fucking bastard.

Click to download SPACE JAZZ to the futuristic 320 kbps

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I wish I had a personal tailor so that he could make me a double-breasted suit coat with the pattern from this album sleeve. The suit coat would also have 3/4 sleeves and big, I mean freakin’ huge, shoulders and probably some gold buttons…maybe even with anchors on them. Then I’d go to the salon and purchase all of the Paul Mitchell hair products they had from this chick:

Then I’d hop into my all white 1985 Mercedes 500SL with the AMG Package:

Finally I’d pop the Pet Shop Boys into my Dolby Noise Reduction-enabled Becker Grand Prix tape deck:

And listen to the West End Girls Dance Mix as I cruised down a palm tree-lined boulevard:

And with that my 80′s summer day fantasy would be complete.

Click to Download West End Girls 12″ to MP3

The Special Dance version of  ”The Rhythm is Gonna Move You” is more or less the same song albeit longer and markedly more dramatic. The dub version on this disc is where things get really interesting. The song starts off with a funky synth part that is reminiscent of the intro to Harold Faltermeyer’s song “Axel Foley,” which is better known as the theme song for Beverly Hills Cop. It then takes its many detours through Conga Junction, New Wave Fashion Catwalk Way and Synthesizer Station. The end result is an terrifically exotic song jammed pack with the mesmerizing “Ooooayyyoooaaayyyy…..OoooayyyooooOOOOOOOahhhh”  hook throughout. Hip whip outta this world.

Click here to download the Special 12″ Dance Mix single

Tracks

1) Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Dance Mix)

2)Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Dub Mix)

*download below*

Everyone needs albums in their collection that remind them one should never take music too seriously. These albums shoulds say yes, it’s ok that I like some groups that have had a top 40 hit. Yes, from time to time I do enjoy a band that fits into a genre or genres that would otherwise make my skin crawl. Yes, sometimes I wish I was a woman so that I could put one of those towering towel-bun things on my head, slather on a creepy-cream-cheese-or-whatever-the-hell-it-is-mask with my gal pals and let loose. You know, just put on the Go-Go’s and get our nails did while talking about boys or periods or crying or whatever it is chicks chat about when they’re having a tickle-fight sleepover.

You know just live, laugh, love. Lollipop lesbian Lilliputian.

This is one of those albums that will make you disregard all  cohesive thought structure and just let go-go of the world around you. Two of the best songs from the 80′s are on this album: “Our Lips Are Sealed” and “We Got The Beat”. If you’re unfamiliar with these adorable “new wave quirk” behemoths then observe the following:

Nothing displays a carefree attitude better than packing all of your girlfriends into a copper-colored 1960 Buick LeSabre convertible and hitting the open road. This is especially true when you’re adorned in your favorite 50′s regalia while sitting on the trunklid and disregarding all traffic laws. The wind in your hair, bugs in your teeth and cops on your ass.

BUT WAIT THEY GOT IN THE FOUNTAIN! THEY’RE DANCING IN THE FOUNTAIN AND SPLISH-SPLASHIN TO THEIR HEART’S CONTENT! I’M SO JEALOUS OF YOU, BELINDA CARLISLE! DAMN YOUR FREEWHEELING WAYS!

Here again we see them displaying a total disregard for their personal safety as they pull up to their live show in the back of a 50′s pickup. Where are these girls getting such badass vintage whips? Were they servicing Jay Leno as he started out his stand-up comedy career? I must get to the bottom of that.

The biggest thing that upset me about that video is the Farrah Fawcett wannabee crowd surfer the camera keeps cutting to. She is so totally 70′s…it kills my new wave buzz so hard. GET THAT HAIR RELAXED, GIRL. THIS AIN’T A BOSTON CONCERT!

There are plenty of other great songs on the album. My personal favorite of the rest is “You Can’t Walk In Your Sleep (If You Can’t Sleep).” I’m pretty sure this is the only song on the album that was written by Belinda Carlisle. It has a bit more of the ‘tude than the other tracks with its wiggly walking bassline and heavy pop punk foundation. The chorus doesn’t really make much sense but I’ll forgive them…only because the song conjures visions of Carlisle’s bratty nose squenching over and over in a fit of passion.

Click here to download Beauty and the Beat

In my final notes I’d like to put the nail in the coffin as to just how fun the Go-Go’s are. Apparently 6 weeks after this album hit #1 on the charts a backstage video of the girls leaked to the press. The contents of that video, which are reported to be of the sex, drugs and rock and roll variety, really tarnished the Go-Go’s wholesome persona.

This loss of fan support is hilarious because it seems today that you have to make a scandalous tape to be famous. Or at least if you’re not famous you can “leak” a sex tape in hopes of becoming famous. What’s even more ridiculous is that there isn’t any actual Go-Go’s sex or nudity just some qualude-popping creep who, according to the description of the film I’ve read here, keeps flashing his junk in the hotel room of a Holiday Inn.

Too bad there wasn’t any YouTube back in the day because I bet there would have been an awesome Go-Go’s equivelant to the “Leave Brittany Alone” guy. *sigh*

*download below*

Mmmm tasty.  So sweet and juicy…Oh God it’s rolling down my chin. You know what, I don’t even care just let it roll right down to the collar. That’s right, little nectary juice drip just perch right there. Get comfortable that’s a poly/cotton blend no big deal. Breathes and won’t pill.

Do I dare take another bite? Will my frail constitution handle the sheer ecstasy? I don’t know…who cares.

Dig in girl. No nibbling you swallow that whole thing. That’s right take it in. Yeah, you like that. You definitely like it. Oooo that tickles stop that! You know papi’s sensitive. Just work the tip baby. That’s right. Just the tip.

Click here to download the Shout Remixes

*download below*

Mmmm tasty.  So sweet and juicy…Oh God it’s rolling down my chin. You know what, I don’t even care just let it roll right down to the collar. That’s right, little nectary juice drip just perch right there. Get comfortable that’s a poly/cotton blend no big deal. Breathes and won’t pill.

Do I dare take another bite? Will my frail constitution handle the sheer ecstasy? I don’t know…who cares.

Dig in girl. No nibbling you swallow that whole thing. That’s right take it in. Yeah, you like that. You definitely like it. Oooo that tickles stop that! You know papi’s sensitive. Just work the tip baby. That’s right. Just the tip.

Click here to download the Shout Remixes

Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post

*download below*

Plant seeds of Devo, Talking Heads, Nintendo Entertainment System soundtracks, Dire Straights and the Beatles in a cabbage patch at the foot of Mt. Fuji. Fertilize heavily with synthesized voices and ensure exposure to plenty of electronic sunshine. Creepy Japanese mannequins will begin sprouting in 4 to 6 weeks. Harvest after 8 weeks and apply butter as desired.



Click here to download the USA Version of X Multiplies (Re-converted and Improved on 4/5/11)

Tracklist

A1 Nice Age 3:55
Electric Guitar – Kenji Ohmura*
Voice [Spoken Vocal] – Sandi*
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Yukihiro Takahashi
A2 Behind The Mask 3:35
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Ryuichi Sakamoto , Yukihiro Takahashi
A3 Rydeen 4:26
Written-By – Yukihiro Takahashi
A4 Day Tripper 2:39
Electric Guitar – Makoto Ayukawa
Written-By – John Lennon-Paul McCartney*
B1 Technopolis 4:15
Written-By – Ryuichi Sakamoto
B2 Multiplies 2:55
Written-By – Yellow Magic Orchestra
B3 Citizens Of Science 4:33
Backing Vocals – Sandi*
Electric Guitar – Kenji Ohmura*
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Ryuichi Sakamoto
B4 Solid State Survior 3:55
Electric Guitar – Makoto Ayukawa
Written-By – Chris Mosdell , Yukihiro Takahashi

*download below*

Listen to this album and picture Nelson Mandela sitting in his family room, maybe chillin with a box of Mike and Ikes (but more likely with an obscene bag of Sno Caps) with The Air Up There, starring  the ever-youthful Kevin Bacon, rollin on the TV.  He’s not rockin the DVD but a Blu Ray disc because Nelson is a stickler for quality and needs to see the minute detail of every sweat bead glistening from Kev’s furrowed brow.  Understand that Nelson has his doubts about Kevin Bacon–he’s always questioning his motives.  It’s an internal conflict that rocks him to the core at each of his daily 8 o’clock viewings.  Was it a mistake to unleash the Shake and Bac on an unsuspecting people?  Nelson will never come to terms with the ramifications of introducing such raw, untamed power to the continent.

Download Paul Simon – Graceland vinyl to MP3