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Tag Archives: Christmas

This is a short but sweet little number that I used to listen to over and over and over as a kid. I’m pretty sure you’ll be doing the same after your first listen.

On another note, I sat down today and watched a VHS tape from 1990 with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Mickey’s Christmas Carol and the original Simpsons Christmas Special. VHS tapes of live television have a certain charm. Part of it is the strange, treble-sapped sound. I always kind of feel that I’m listening to the TV through an infinitely long chain of cardboard paper towel tubes whenever I pop in an old tape.

But what really makes dealing with tracking issues worthwhile is the time warp commercials encapsulated within these VHS tapes. Here’s a small handful of commercials that were tucked away in this 1990 Holiday Season Recording

Skaggs Alpha Beta Grocery Store

The Skaggs Alpha Beta commercial on my tape was different but just as weird. I just can’t comprehend what they were thinking when naming a grocery story with such a disgusting confederation of words.

Jack The Lego Maniac

I never got the really cool Legos when I was a kid. Sure, if I’d had a really awesome imagination I could have made whatever I wanted with the ones I had. But I just wanted a space set because the Lego space dudes had awesome neon green visors on their helmets. But only Jack the Lego Maniac was lucky enough to have any and every space dude he wanted. I hated him for that.

Cabbage Patch Dolls

Do Cabbage Patch Dolls dominate anyone else’s nightmares, or am I alone on this one?

LA Gear featuring Karl Malone

When I was in college I used to drive 3 hours every year to attend Ohio University’s Halloween Bash. The first year I was there I parked my car in a lot outside of town and took a tram toward campus so I could meet up with a friend who lived in one of the dorms.

During that tram ride there was this really drunk, and I mean REALLY drunk, passenger dressed up as Karl Malone for Halloween. He was wearing the full Utah Jazz uniform and had a wig. But what really made his costume ridiculous was that this white dude scribbled in his entire face with a Sharpie marker in an attempt to make himself appear black. It was pretty obvious that he did it while he was drunk because there were huge spots where he missed with the Sharpie and he ended up looking like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics.

He was riding the tram solo, holding a nearly-finished case of Natty Light and continually yelling, “I’M THE MAILMAN! I’M THE MAILMAN!” It would have just been obnoxious if it hadn’t been for this Japanese family that was sitting right next to him. They were wearing normal street clothes and looked totally out of place amongst the sexy nurses, crippled Supermen and THE MAILMAN.

Those Japanese folks were completely terrified of THE MAILMAN. They tried to pretend he wasn’t there but every now and then one of them would take a quick, horrified glance at him. I’m certain that they thought THE MAILMAN would eat them…because the real one certainly would. Viewing that surreal drama unfold was one of the best experiences of my life.

>>>Click here to download Elvis and Jim’s Christmas Favorites

Tracklist

Side 1: Elvis

1. Here Comes Santa Claus

2. Silent Night

3. Blue Christmas

4. O Little Town Of Bethlehem

Side 2: Jim Reeves

1. Jingle Bells

2. I’ll Be Home For Christmas

3. O Come All Ye Faithful

4. Take My Hand, Precious Lord

If you’ve had any trouble unzipping the recent posts there’s good news: I’ve installed YKK zippers on each to make them easily accessible to all. Thanks for stopping by.