Tag Archives: Indie

Tying down the sound that Tobacco uses on this album can be a bit of a challenge. There are so many analog, digital and motocicletic manipulations of good, church-going sounds. I think the cover really is a good place to start. It’s fair to liken it unto a journey untertaken by big bowl of sweet meat beats while being chewed and gnashed by a muscley Pat. Manlady ate all sorts of Legos and carpet earlier in the day so shit gets hairy once everything arrives in Gullet Town.

But I think the best way to describe this is by remembering the first time you tripped some serious balls on shrooms. You remember, you were camping on the bank of the Great Miami River just outside of Harrison, OH. It was early summer and you could hear Edgewater Dragstrip from just outside of the valley. Those blown Mustangs and funny cars sounded like prehistoric beasts fighting for a giant rack of Fred Flintstone ribs.

It also happened to be the weekend of Gravelrama on the opposite side of the river in Cleves, OH. Gravelrama celebrates the tradition of Rednecks getting loaded, playing loud hillbilly music and ramping their 4-wheelers up and around a gravel track in what they call a “race”.

Between the dragstrip and the good ol’ boys’ convention it sounded like World War 3 had broken out over the baby blue airspace blanketing the protected Ohio watershed.

So it wasn’t surprising that soon after you downed your 1/8th ounce of funky cowpoop mushies the sounds of the ‘Rama took you by the cerebelum. Not in the way that a Geico commercial will hold your attention for 30 seconds and then immediately leave you playing the husk of a man role on Law & Order. No, because the thwomp el shroomhammer laid on you that early summer evening knew no time. You were locked in the midst of the nothing, staring into a  tiny cesspool on the Great Miami, observing the mosquito breeding ground and just knowing what they were up to. You just knew.

Suddenly, you heard the ominous beat of a drum, the kind primitive people construct from a hollowed tree stump and stretched hide of animal skin. It became louder and louder, emanating from around the bend…somewhere off toward I-74. And then it appeared, a viking ship, a real life viking ship curling around the bend in all its awesome splendor. You could see the men rowing their long oars in tempo with the terrible pounding of the deerflesh drum. Onward to pillage the awesome treasure of your recently discovered bloodsucker fucking ground. “You can’t have it!” you yelled. “Their diseases are mine!” And you stood ready for a fight, even if it meant tearing your brown Levi’s Action Slacks. But as soon as they rounded that tiny little bend in the supposed Great they were gone.

And it became quite apparent that everything you knew, even the 15-minute-old memory of that Wendy’s JBC, didn’t seem real anymore. You were transported to a scene that you’d only seen on television in the no man’s land of 80′s summertime Saturday programming. Crazy trees that whispered directions to an abandoned trailer at the fork in the trail you dared not trespass. Purple mists that sprang from the gravel, the dirt, thin air and your suspiciously dry palms. Your fellow campers grew three sets of eyes, two mouths, and the ability to spit fire representing every spectrum known, and unknown, to scientific man.

Eventually, you left your party and sat in the forest to think of time and all eternity. Roots and thickets of all races laughed, played and grew from every part of your being. You became a fully functioning, almost necessary part of the forest. If you left, your leafy green friends would lose all knowledge of man, and therefore, the upper hand. The forest’s understanding of empty fiberglass boat hulls, giant tractor trailer hubs, aluminum dishwashers, Appalachian sized mountains of beer cans would all be lost. The forest would again become retarded…no longer a participant in our ugly pissing game.

And then, out of nowhere, your slinky friend showed up. He was obviously lost in some sort of Very Old Barton trance. He saw neither here nor there and, therefore, did not see the Buckeye tree planting its vulgar root at the base of your skull.

So, standing before you and oblivious to your presence, or that of God, he removed his pants und underskins and exposed his soft pleasure to find divine relief from his bourbon laden insides . But, instead of a penis…long, short, crooked, tanned, stove-burned…there was a spinning paisley vortex in its place. Just a terrible choke of tie patterns laughing at the both of you; learning how to breathe and downloading the latest version of Powerpoint to your hard drives.

>>>Click here to download the best thing to happen to you since blue vinyl gloves.

 

When I entered the 7th grade I was only a baby.  I knew nothing of covert lunchtime dumpster smoking. Shit, it took me half of the year to figure out why everyone was posing so much; I didn’t see any cameras. I wore tight, pure white Levi’s Silvertab jeans the first day of school. My musical tastes consisted of listening to the 5-disc “Classical Music From Around The Globe” set that was part of my parent’s CD collection and every once in a while threw in Genesis’ We Can’t Dance when I was feeling really sassy. 

 

Eventually I picked up the mandatory mid-90′s punk and ska bands (NOFX, Operation Ivy, Pennwise, Bad Religion, etc.) that Cincinnati suburbanite youths clung to in the hopes of appearing cool. For a while I skirted with the concept of  hip; I could ollie over two stacked skateboards, I had JNCOs with 30 inch pipes (big enough to flip them upside down and wear them as a ridiculous skirt for comedic relief at family reunions), and I even carried a pocket knife to class. So tuff. 

Despite my greatest effortsI was always miles and miles away from true cool, figuratively and literally. The really cool kids were the ones doing heroine and listening to Unwound in some Seattle warehouse loft their older brother Crust rented out. They had piercings, real tattoos, real VD and were over Kurt Cobain even before Courtney blew his brains out. They were accomplishing real feats of cool 24/7 while I was trying to learn the lyrics to The Aquabats’ “Captain Hampton & The Midget Pirates” 3000 miles away in West Chester, OH. 

 

Before I picked this album up I had never heard Unwound. Not once in my entire life. I’ll admit I know nothing about the Post-Hardcore scene or even the regular Hardcore or curious Pre-Hardcore scene. I just don’t look good in black jeans. However, I feel like I should have heard about them at least once since this retrospective was released over 10 years ago. I mean I’ve been first mate on Black Bart’s MP3 Submarine for a while; from Napster to Bearshare to Limewire to modding a DC++ hub in college to my current venture as peddler of cheap vinyl smut. But I never heard Unwound. 

Well, after running multiple scenarios through my head about how this could be I finally came up with a solution: I simply wasn’t cool enough to pick up the Unwound wavelength. It was a long-lasting punishment for attempting to rock an undercut despite my superhuman cowlicks (I bore an uncanny resemblance to a Bighorn Sheep) 

You skate?

I’ve finally served my time for my crimes against style and now can be as angsty as I wanna be all throughout the twilight of my 20′s. I choose to do that by throwing on Unwound when I have houseguests over and saying, “Oh yeah I really got into this band in, like, the 5th or 6th grade. It kind of changed everything for me after I ran away. Kind of gave me a voice for all the shit I was going through. You’ve never heard of them? Wow, where are you from again?” 

 It’s going to be so awesome. 

<<Click here to download A Single History at 320 kbps from vinyl>>

 

  

 

With the new cooling fan finally installed on my Gibson it’s time to get back into things with an 8-bit uppercut to the nuts. This is one of the most prized black biscuits in my collection. It arrived mysteriously one day as an apology for a late-sent album I won on eBay. At first I had no idea what it was…no markings of any kind on the album sleeve or the disc itself, except for the Headbanger rocking triumphantly in the cover’s upper right corner.

So, I put the disc on and almost instantly it blew the top off of my head. All the kilobytes, nay, megabytes of Nintendo strategy blasted through my domepiece in a volcano of flashing blue/red screens and turbo firepower.

CONTRA DESTROYER

 Doctors were able to locate all but a 4 square inch chunk missing from the tippy top . It’s totally worth it…I just can’t play full contact sports and my friends still call me Poached Egg Baby.

If you’ve never heard this album, or even if this 12″ holds a tender position on your iPod, you must get this rip. I took extra liberty with boosting the BASS when I ripped it to MP3. God, it’s so good.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD GAMEBOY VARIATIONS AT 320 kBPS

1   Bad Cartridge (E-Pro Remix) 2:54  
    Remix – Paza (The X-Dump)*
2   Bit Rate Variations In B-Flat (Girl Remix) 2:44  
    Remix – Paza (The X-Dump)*
3   Gameboy/Homeboy (Qué Onda Guero Remix) 2:37  
    Remix – 8 Bit*
4   Ghettochip Malfunction (Hell Yes Remix) 2:41  
    Remix – 8 Bit*

** Supplementary: Were any of you that little shit who had a Gameboy in elementary school? Maybe you went to Shawnee Elementary? Yeah, you brought your big ass, Nintendo-approved portable GameBoy vault that had a whole slew of games and extra batteries AND headphones. You displayed that personal gaming temple prominently at the berth of your cubby… just so everyone could look but not touch. At lunch you made everyone take turns being your best friend–”Check out this sweet Lightboy attachment,” you said. “The lurid claws of night are of no consequence for my Gameboy and me,” you said.

Yeah, so you let me borrow it. And I had a ball using that Lightboy as I sat playing Tetris on a box of Utah riverbed fossils in the dark seclusion of my bedroom closet. But it didn’t last. You eventually made me give that GameBoy back; despite the repeated trade offerings of my baby brubba. How could you be so cruel?

 

I’m proud to present to you a handful of high quality tracks from Fidel Catastrophe’s upcoming debut album: And The Bleak Shall Inherit The  Earth.

The Cincinnati outfit uses this highly synthesized jackhammer to pound the listener through frontman Karl Spaeth’s ear canal and straight into his medulla oblongata. Inside his slimy labyrinth you’ll find yourself rubbing shoulders with judgmental dead relatives, dodging tractor trailers on Ohio’s medieval highway system and possibly witnessing a terribly graphic cry job.

I’ve heard a whole boatload of versions on the journey toward this completed album over the past year or so. Tracks  chopped, diced, indian-burned…. tracks introducing the disturbingly maternal background vocals of Sophia Cunningham (JK SoCu)….tracks that abandoned instruments and vocals in favor of the primal sounds of a cat in heat locked inside a dishwasher. While I must say I am disappointed with the omission of the moist mew mew I am pickled pink with the final outcome.

However, there’s one final hurdle to making this vinyl a reality. Take a good listen to the three songs posted here and see if they’re to your liking. If so, make your way on over to Fidel Catastrophe’s Kickstarter website. There you will be given the option to make a contribution toward getting the disc pressed. $15 bucks will get you a copy of the actual vinyl AND a CD with demos that went into the writing and recording of the album. Contribute more and, well, you’ll get even more goodies. Just check out the link for details.

If you take a listen and don’t dig what you hear, well…you’re heading down a dangerous path. Also, stop being such a knob.

You can also find out more info about Fidel Catastrophe and hear a few more tracks at http://www.myspace.com/wisebloodwivesblood

Track Downloads

The Breeze Knees

An Endlessness, Thanks

Another Garden Song

Lucky Windows 7 made this trio of posts a real battle but, despite heavy casualties in Easy Company 1011011, the good guys won.

Tomorrow I will post scans of the album sleeves that destroyed my previous hard drive. These scans will be made possible with support from the brilliant engineering department at the General Electric Aircraft Engines plant in Evendale, OH. I can’t give enough thanks for the help.

In the mean time, while you wait for commercial grade JoNew scans,  open your heart to DISC 3.

Download Here

Ok, so I installed Windows 7 and it’s been a mess getting all of my previous settings back in order for record ripping. I think it’s all sorted out but if you encounter any problems please let me know so that I can get the fixed ASAP.

One curious thing I did notice about this disc is how off-center the hole is on the record. This caused the needle to sway back and forth like an Alaskan crab fishing vessel while the record spun, which was quite a sight to see. Luckily, my Technics SL-10 is a zero tracking error champion so it didn’t affect the playback. However, I wonder how it would fare on a more rudimentary turntable.

Despite this I recommend picking up a hard copy from Drag City at this link. Just make sure you have your tonearm set up right.

But while you wait for your box set to arrive via Karl “The Mailman” Malone check out disc two of Have One On Me.


Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me

Download

My laptop crashed so I’m attempting the near impossible: posting this through my Wii. It’s giving me motion sickness. I’ll be attending Joanna’s Cincy tour stop at Memorial Hall on the 30th so check back for a review and the next two discs of “Have One On Me”.

I can never, ever get enough Junior Boys. Come back to the Southgate House soon boys…just don’t mention hot browns next time. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate your attempt to connect with us locals because that was very sweet of you. I just don’t want to run the risk of some dumbass screaming “HOT BROWN, HOT BROWN, HOT BROWN” again after every single song. Every. Single. Song.

Click to download Hazel at 320 kbps

Tracks

1. Hazel (Ewan Pearson’s Extended Disc Edit)
2. Hazel (Album Version)
3. Hazel (Ewan Pearson’s House Mix)
4. Hazel (Ewan Pearson’s House Dub)

 

*vinyl download below*

If you take a look behind Mr. Triangular Turban, the one right there leaking digital flesh, you’ll notice the background resembles a Magic Eye poster. You remember, Magic Eye, the artwork you saw at mall kiosks during the 90′s. The first time you saw those curious technicolored splatters you didn’t really know what to make of them. The Kiosk Master sensed your bewilderment and explained, “Um they’re a hidden 3D picture, kind of. You sort of have to look through them or past them…or something. I think that one’s a dolphin jumping over a desert island. I think.” So you tried to stare through them. You also crossed your eyes, wiggled them, gouged them repeatedly because of your inability to see the hidden dolphin and his high-flying acrobatics.

Pleasures of the deep.

Then, just as you were about to kick the Kiosk Master in the nuts, the sea mammal and his sick air came into view. Oh, the beauty you beheld. Yes, it was just the outline of the dolphin and it wasn’t really the actual color of a dolphin and it gave you a terrible headache but it was AWESOME. It was like stepping into a whole ‘nother dimension where simply-shaped environments prevail  and taste accounts for nothing: A dimension called The Tri-County Mall Foodcourt. With this freeing feeling about your person you confidently worked down the gallery lineup. Pyramids at Giza, Statue of Liberty, Bald Eagle over Star-Spangled Banner, Confused Pug Puppy in Easter basket….each one outdoing its predecessor. It left you with terrifying anticipation. You thought, “If we’re making Magic Eyes now in ’93 there’s no telling what 3D beast we will unleash come 2k.”

Pleasures of the deepest.

… Well, 2000 only brought retinal tears and activated gag reflexes within the stereogram universe. Sorry.

*Side Note: This album reminds me of The Moody Blues trapped in a Magic Eye poster with Four Loko Caffeinated Malt Alcohol-drinking narwhals as their transportation through a green lightning sea. I’m gonna grab a bottle of Old Grand Dad Bonded and jump in head first.

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>>Click to download ODD BLOOD<<

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Remixes fantastique from the French getup Phoenix. I always anticipate their releases with great worry…always worrying they’re just one LP away from breaking my heart.

This is because I used to worry they were bitter that Cincinnati put a bad taste in their mouths after their performance at The Southgate House several years back. Because of this, I feared, they would only send us special Cincinnati Remixes with fart sounds replacing the vocals, similar to what Guster did with their album Keep It Together in 2003.

Back then Cincy was, even more so than  now, in this terrible hipster-concert-audience-funk where everyone would shift their weight to one leg, put their hands in their pockets and do their best Helen Keller impersonation. Phoenix kept doing their darndest to get the audience involved by addressing them directly in French accents, “Hello, this is our first time in Le Kentucky, we will play our guitars very best with strong hearts,” but the knit-capped, sleepy-eyed crowd weren’t having it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarassed by an anonymous rabble.

So, they’ll probably never come back. Cincy put on a poor performance but so far Phoenix hasn’t returned the favor. I’m seriously surprised they still send vinyl to this market. Maybe they saw me fainting over and over from audience-induced melancholy up in the balcony and took pity. Yeah, that must be it.

Click to Download Lisztomania Remixes

Tracks

A1 Lisztomania (Album Version) 4:02  
A2 Lisztomania (Alex Metric Rmx) 5:05  
B1 Lisztomania (Yuksek Rmx) 5:08  
B2 Lisztomania (A Fight For Love / 25 Hours A Day Rmx) 5:42