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Play this at your party if you want Fun Fun, Fun Fun.

Click here to download Fun Fun

1. Bailo Bolero (Bolero Mix)9:20 with sexy vocals

2. Bailo Bolero (House Mix) 11:23 of sexy beats

I just had a  listen to a few of the new Daft Punk songs from Tron Legacy. Somehow I’ve been living under a rock for the past year and didn’t know they were doing the entire soundtrack until today. For about 10 minutes I was totally pumped until I heard the new tracks, at which point my heart sank like a very large stone.

The last thing I expected was an adagio from Daft Punk. Isn’t that a bit too DJ Tiësto?

Take a listen to the songs on the link above and let me know what you think. Homework and Discovery are two of the best albums of all time. Why can’t Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo get back to Burnin‘ shit up?

>>>Click here to download the Burnin’ UK 12″

Tracklist

Building
A1 Burnin’ (Ian Pooley “Cut Up Mix”) 5:20
Remix – Ian Pooley
A2 Burnin’ (Slam Mix) 6:48
Remix – Slam
A3 Burnin’ (Original Mix) 6:53
Redlight
B1 Burnin’ (DJ Sneak “Mongowarrior” Mix) 10:22
Remix – DJ Sneak
B2 Burnin’ (DJ Sneak Main Mix) 9:10
Remix – DJ Sneak

Most of me absolutely loves this song. I first heard it on one of the 80′s comps I purchased during junior high. It wasn’t initially familiar but the mysterious vibe, what I would later come to recognize as “indie” or “80′s alternative” or “guitar and vocals”, really drew me in. I still have fond memories of long family road trips, rocking my Panasonic G-Shock, and getting lost Under The Milky Way.

Water Resistant, 40 Second Shock Protection, 1-bit MASH digital-to-analog converter, XBS Bass Boost, Rubber Buttons…WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

But there’s a memory that will always slightly taint this song for me. My ex-best friend: Daryl Waits. You see, one day I was listening to the comp containing “Under The Milky Way” with Daryl. He enlightened me to the fact that his creepy, sadistic step dad was obsessed with this song. He didn’t know why and didn’t dare ask his dad for fear of a belt whoopin’. I’ve always wondered why a mysterious father-figure, someone quite different from a hill-bombing teenager, would love this song.

***Disclaimer: The name of the aforementioned’s been changed to protect my throat from being slit.

Ok, so this post was supposed to be about the The Church and why you should enjoy their hit single.  However, I’ve decided to not be stingy by keeping Daryl’s memory for my own. I’m a generous person and feel that he should ruin for you as well

I want you to imagine that Daryl has moved into your home. He’s sleeping in your family room on a futon he bought at Wal-Mart with a bad check. While sitting/laying on that futon he passes time playing Grand Theft Auto 3 on one of the four PS2s he bought at Wal-Mart with other bad checks. Every single button on every single controller from those Playstations sticks because Daryl’s diet consists solely of Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch and Sour Patch Kids. And he has hammer thumbs like Megan Fox which drive gummy globs deep into plastic crevices.

Never search “hammer thumbs” on Google with SafeSearch off.

During Daryl’s tenure as unwanted guest, “Under The Milky Way” mocks you on repeat from the Hi-Fi in your living room. Under normal circumstances you could just switch the system off…but you find it’s impossible. The stereo’s power plug and on switch are both frozen place by a Sour Tahitian Industrial Strength Bond.

Daryl continues on living in your family room. Only now he’s bought a Bow Flex with a credit card he activated using your name and SSN. He’s lifting every day, with more and more and more weight. Daryl soon buys a second Bow Flex because he’s bored with maxing out the squat capacity for a single machine. This man is in your family room, simultaneously squat thrusting on two bow flexes. Daryl’s becoming a hulking, sticky, stinky mess that can’t be moved from your domicile.

To make matters worse, he’s started adding Everclear to his daily case of Tahitian Treat. So, you now have a hulking, sticky, stinky, drunk mess lounging on a futon and stressing the support beams in your living room while passing bad checks at every business in your town. Grain alcohol hangovers leads to pissing in the corner every morning instead of making the short trip to the bathroom. Of course you try confronting him about the growing yellow stain but he only slurs obscenities and throws PS2s into the drywall in response.

And your stereo doesn’t tire, and the verses keep echoing:

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

And then, one day, Daryl says he’s joined the Navy and will be out by the end of the week. You’re ecstatic but also confused. But after a little thought it just makes sense: he was looking for a place where he could earn praise for sculpting his guns while maintaining full-body stickiness.

Let’s be buff and sticky together, fellas! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>

Click here to download Under The Milky Way 12″ to 320 kbps MP3

>>>

Final Note: There’s a strange dolphin-like squeal at the very beginning of the track. It only lasts 5 seconds. I did a low pass filter at 16 khz for that duration of the song to prevent listeners from freaking out in dog-whistle fashion. Hell, you might not even notice it. But if you do, don’t worry…you’re not imagining things.

Danny Elfman is the Evil King of the Gingers. This title affords him all sorts of red magic, charms and glitter powers.  Since 1984 he’s been using his quartet of fetish dolls to perform terrible tasks to make life terribly good for him.

The first black kitty cat with the squiggly zipper stomach on the left  landed him the gig of as soundtrack composer for every Tim Burton film ever made. It did this, of course, by breaking into Burton’s duplex in the middle of a full-mooned night.  Once inside, little kitty found Burton and made fun of his silk pajamas well past the break of dawn. Burton’s spirit was quickly broken–he handed over full soundtrack rights for the next century to Elfman by mid-afternoon.

The other three, especially Skeleton Jack over there, wrastled Elfman composer duties for the theme song to The Simpsons. You see, 20 years ago Matt Groening was really into training Shetland Ponies for the show circuit. It was basically the only thing he lived for. He enjoyed doodling every now and then but it was basically ponies for life. That is, until one night, when the Ginger Trio arrived.

Well, you know the rest…they poisoned his pony, Mr. Trickets, and promised the antidote in return for a contract to a show he’d have to create. And not just a show, a cartoon with yellow people. Lots of them. Too many to keep track of unless you watched the show every week for 20 years. And somehow Groening fulfilled his end of the bargain and got the antidote. But the fetish dolls killed the pony anyway the next evening by Burger King overdose.

All right, fuck this.

All I can think about while writing is the little field mouse that died in my apartment this week. He didn’t even get the dignity of dying in a trap laced with peanut butter or anything. No, somehow he squeezed his tiny body into my box fan and lost his life to a great spinning electric monster he couldn’t possibly understand.

He escaped a Kentucky’s midsummer monsoon by finding a dry 19th century home. He even made it up to the second floor to assure he was totally out of harm’s way. Once he wiggled his way through what I assume was a heating duct he was clever enough to outsmart two dark cats. Keep in mind that these cats are accomplished mouse hunters; both trained in the jungles of Clifton.

And all I can think about is that dead, chopped up mouse and Danny Elfman’s lyrics from the song on this 12″: “Life’s been so good to me, has it been good to you? Has it been everything that you’d expected it to be? Was it as good for you, as it was good for me? And was it everything that it was all set up to be?”

Well, that mouse probably heard this album pumping through my abode right before he died.  Sure, he might not  have understood English but I know he felt the vibes…I just know it. And I can safely say that his life was not as good for him as it was for you, Mr. Elfman. You are such an asshole.

Download Gratitude

>>>BONUS!!!  You can also find the full LP from whence this track came (Danny Elfman – So-Lo) for download on this site here. It’s so choice.

Tracklist

A Gratitude (Extended Dance Version) 6:44
B1 Gratitude (Tornado Version) 7:05
B2 Gratitude (Short Version) 4:42

I have to admit that I was disappointed with Daft Punk’s last LP, Human After All. I know that Discovery was a really, really tough act to follow but I was still hopeful they’d fill my dreams with 4 more years of hentai fantasies. And maybe this sounds like a gripe that’s too little, way too late. So sue me, again, and this time you’ll end up owing me money. Don’t blame me, blame our broken judicial system.

Samples were the Shayne Graham of the last album. Now, let me stop everything right here. I don’t want you thinking that I’m against samples, because I’m not. If I may say so: au contraire, mon frère (Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter would probably say that because they’re French!)

I’m all about samples. Daft Punk just dropped the baton, leaving the funk for Justice to grab with a clear line to the Slush Puppie vendor. But I’m still bummed that Guy and Thomas just dropped Le Groove. It’s not that the samples were bad. They were actually pretty good picks. But they didn’t do anything with them. It’s like a chef allocating the perfect lamb chop from a butcher and then placing that big, bloody, uncooked slab of wooly bully on your plate and saying, “Dig In.” You gotta prep, sucka!

Just take a listen to the next to two songs here. If you have the time give Robot Rock a good, full listen. Experience its repetitive beats with little variation.

Now take a listen to “Release the Beast” by Breakwater from 1980.

Notice any….similarities?

It’s basically the same damn song, although Breakwater’s original is a better musical representation of a Mylar glove, filled with testosterone, stuffed inside of a black velvet glove, slapping a Detroit traffic cop.

LUCKILY Daft punk released 12″ remixes of the songs from this album. In my not-so-humble opinion I feel that one of these Robot Rock remixes, especially the Soulwax Remix, should have taken the original LP spot. Soulwax took the original sample and made it something truly unique instead of just adding “ROCK, ROBOT ROCK. ROCK, ROBOT ROCK” over and over. It’s something clever, something catchy, something you’d hope to meet in a metallic bikini on a spring morning along the Uruguayan coast. Just take a listen-see to the next vid and download the damn thing.

>>>CLICK AND DOWNLOAD THE BEST VERSIONS

There’s a new record store in Cincy called Another Part of The Forest that has a TON of awesome singles from the 80′s. I picked up a few while I was there this past week and will be back soon to feed my craving. Many of those singles all came from one huge collection with handwritten notes on each album cover. I feel bad for the DJ that had to let go of his preciouses. Everyone keep this New Wave Club Kid, whoever he/she is, in their prayers.

May Stacey Q smile upon you once again, my fallen turntable warrior.

Praise be unto Stacey.

>>>Click here to download the Two of Hearts 4-Song Single at 320 kbps

Tracklist

A Two Of Hearts (Vocal / European Dance Mix) 6:00
B1 Two Of Hearts (Instrumental) 4:39
B2 Two Of Hearts (Vocal / Radio Edit) 3:58
B3 Stacey’s Dream (A Capella) 2:32

Remixes fantastique from the French getup Phoenix. I always anticipate their releases with great worry…always worrying they’re just one LP away from breaking my heart.

This is because I used to worry they were bitter that Cincinnati put a bad taste in their mouths after their performance at The Southgate House several years back. Because of this, I feared, they would only send us special Cincinnati Remixes with fart sounds replacing the vocals, similar to what Guster did with their album Keep It Together in 2003.

Back then Cincy was, even more so than  now, in this terrible hipster-concert-audience-funk where everyone would shift their weight to one leg, put their hands in their pockets and do their best Helen Keller impersonation. Phoenix kept doing their darndest to get the audience involved by addressing them directly in French accents, “Hello, this is our first time in Le Kentucky, we will play our guitars very best with strong hearts,” but the knit-capped, sleepy-eyed crowd weren’t having it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarassed by an anonymous rabble.

So, they’ll probably never come back. Cincy put on a poor performance but so far Phoenix hasn’t returned the favor. I’m seriously surprised they still send vinyl to this market. Maybe they saw me fainting over and over from audience-induced melancholy up in the balcony and took pity. Yeah, that must be it.

Click to Download Lisztomania Remixes

Tracks

A1 Lisztomania (Album Version) 4:02
A2 Lisztomania (Alex Metric Rmx) 5:05
B1 Lisztomania (Yuksek Rmx) 5:08
B2 Lisztomania (A Fight For Love / 25 Hours A Day Rmx) 5:42

The Special Dance version of  ”The Rhythm is Gonna Move You” is more or less the same song albeit longer and markedly more dramatic. The dub version on this disc is where things get really interesting. The song starts off with a funky synth part that is reminiscent of the intro to Harold Faltermeyer’s song “Axel Foley,” which is better known as the theme song for Beverly Hills Cop. It then takes its many detours through Conga Junction, New Wave Fashion Catwalk Way and Synthesizer Station. The end result is an terrifically exotic song jammed pack with the mesmerizing “Ooooayyyoooaaayyyy…..OoooayyyooooOOOOOOOahhhh”  hook throughout. Hip whip outta this world.

Click here to download the Special 12″ Dance Mix single

Tracks

1) Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Dance Mix)

2)Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Dub Mix)

*download below*

Mmmm tasty.  So sweet and juicy…Oh God it’s rolling down my chin. You know what, I don’t even care just let it roll right down to the collar. That’s right, little nectary juice drip just perch right there. Get comfortable that’s a poly/cotton blend no big deal. Breathes and won’t pill.

Do I dare take another bite? Will my frail constitution handle the sheer ecstasy? I don’t know…who cares.

Dig in girl. No nibbling you swallow that whole thing. That’s right take it in. Yeah, you like that. You definitely like it. Oooo that tickles stop that! You know papi’s sensitive. Just work the tip baby. That’s right. Just the tip.

Click here to download the Shout Remixes

*download below*

Click here for a sexy encounter with a random but consenting Rebuilt Tranny Records post!

Kris Kross is one of the greatest gimmick groups of all time. Better than Insane Clown Posse, better than The Aquabats, better than The Monkees even. Kris Kross, those loveable puppets of Jermaine Durpi, didn’t have to be creative with their gimmick. They just turned their clothes around. That’s it. Clothes turned around. Poof, famous.

I remember when kids would turn their pants around in 3rd grade after recess and pretend they were the super duo. It seemed so cool at the time but thinking back it was nearly impossible to walk and the zipper was on your butt. Yes think about that…the zipper was over your butt. What was Jermaine Dupri trying to tell us regarding his wunderkinds? I think the following picture sums it up nicely.

Black Dracula: So boyz, ya’ll mean ya’llz zipper is right over ya’llz butt cracks?

Kris Kross: Yes Black Dracula.

Black Dracula: Dat, my boyz, iz X-QUISITE!

Kris Kross: JUMP JUMP!

Click here to download I Missed The Bus

A1 I Missed The Bus (Backwards To School Mix) 4:00
A2 I Missed The Bus (School Krossing Mix) 2:56
Mixed By – Phil Nicolo
Producer – Andy “Funky Drummer” Kravitz* , Joe “The Butcher” Nicolo , Phil Nicolo
B1 I Missed The Bus (LP Version) 2:59
Backing Vocals – Eddie Weathers , Jermaine Dupri
B2 I Missed The Bus (Instrumental) 3:00