You all will know this as the memorable tune from the teen-angst-turned-young-adult-triumph tale The Breakfast Club. You know, it plays throughout pretty much the entire film–most notably at the end when the suspiciously old-looking Judd Nelson pumps his leather-clad fist triumphantly into the crisp autumn air as he passes under the home team’s goal post. The scene froze as Judd’s bad ‘tude fouled the once virgin soil of Glenbrook North’s turf. That cinematic effect forever locked Judd in the bliss of near youth. That single fist pump told America that yes, movie stereotypes of high school cliques really can get along.
They totally believed I'm a teenager. Yes!
So yeah, Simple Minds performed that song and this is the longer version of that song. And you know what they say, longer Simple Minds songs really do satiate a woman’s supple fantasies in a more efficient, glistening manner.
The B-Side of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” is an ambient new wave jaunt into the heart of Molly Ringwald. Should she really wear such high boots with that low-neck pink blouse? It hasn’t been tried before but she’s the most popular girl in the school so she can pretty much do what she wants. However, if she makes a huge fashion faux pas her position at the top may be jeopardized. On the other hand if you don’t take risks you’ll become stale and that new girl from Seattle will finally become appealing even though she wears Chuck Taylor All-Stars like SUCH a dweeb. Well, you better make your choice, you’re going to be late for detention…and you’re NOT going to spend another Saturday in that sluthole.
Emilio...why don't you like my boots? EMILIOOOOOOO!
“A Brand Band in African Chimes” is almost akin to some of the more ambient stuff by M83. Except this is real deal 80′s teenage angst.
Ok, so this is the most important piece music of the 20th century. Yes, you read that correctly. In 1982 L. Ron Hubbard introduced Space Jazz, the first ever soundtrack to a book (not just any book…Battlefield Earth!!!) and forever altered the creative path of human history. Many historians credit this album with slaying the incredible high-hat breathing Disco Dragon. Others blame it for laying the Yoshi egg that hatched Lady Gaga. However, there’s much more to this story than hilarious musings…
Exhibit A!
(from the album gatefold)
SPACE JAZZ is a completely new musical sound destined to be hailed as the music of the future. The many and varied forms of music are an integral part of the cultural heritage of Earth.
Now, the sound of the future has been established by L. RON HUBBARD, author of the blockbuster science fiction novel Battlefield Earth.
The concept of a soundtrack is something one normally associates with motion pictures. Now for the first time ever–a soundtrack for a book–Battlefield Earth–”Space Jazz.” Think of the “Star Wars” Sagas, and “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” mix in the triumph of “Rocky I,” “Rocky II” and Rocky III” and you have captured the exuberance, style and glory of “Battlefield Earth”–The Evening Sun, Baltimore MD.
Consider the magnitude of the challenge Hubbard set himself. Conventional musical instruments and even huge symphony orchestras have their limitations. He turned to the technology of the future–computers.
Recent breakthroughs in computer musical instruments offered the needed versatility to match his new musical concepts.
Today, a computer is able to reproduce any natural sound. It can record a single note of a musical instrument and from that reproduce the rest of the instrument.
But better yet, it can take any sound and turn this into a rhythm. A coyote can sing the blues. A horse can tap dance. Liquid can splash out a Strauss waltz. Laser beams can hum a lullaby. You name it and you can get it
Yes, L. Ron Hubbard took the most technologically advanced musical instrument of the time, the Fairlight Computer Musical Instrument, and used it to recreate the sonic feast of a horse tapdancing! Thank your stars L. Ron Hubbard was one of the first people to get his hands on the $25,000 Fairlight CMI and thus create this epic masterpiece. What follows is just a small sampling of L. Ron Hubbards musical pioneering.
Exhibit B!
Be sure to carefully absorb the rich tonal haunches in this track. The playful neighs of the heroic horse Windsplitter, created through the Fairlight CMI’s digital processor, stir feelings of hope within the listener that, yes, man, beast and machine can coexist peacefully in a world free of Psychlos.
Exhibit C!
L. Ron Hubbard used his Hubbard Electrometer to test if tomatoes felt emotional pain. Seriously, check out this UK Telegraph article.
Ok, so I took a long time to trying to figure out exactly what this album was all about. I looked for hidden answers about Scientology in the ridiculous anti-stereo narration. I then looked for some sort of psychic pattern in the horribly repetitive and shrill synthesized filler “music”. Finally, I sought solace in the suspiciously mundane track titles:
1. Golden Era of Sci Fi
2. Funeral For A Planet
3. March of The Psychlos
4. Teri, The Security Director
5. Jonnie
6. Windsplitter
7. The Mining Song
8. The Drone
9. Mankind Unites
10. Alien Visitors Attack
11. The Banker
12. Declaration of Peace
13. Earth, My Beautiful Home
But I didn’t experience even a single mysterious revelation from on high.
So I listened again. And again. And again. And upon my umpteenth listen, just as Space Jazz began evoke memories of my endless hours spent playing Oregon Trail 2, the answer blasted itself all over my face: L. Ron Hubbard was the greatest practical joker of all time.
His absurdly bogus biography, his hackneyed bibliography, his intensely whacko yet ridiculously profitable Scientology cult had all been part of the greatest monkeyshine ever unleashed on mankind. The man was a hybrid of Andy Kaufman’s unflinching, rabble-rousing comedy with Joseph Smith’s pied-piper espièglerie–now that’s saying something.
The aural assault Space Jazz makes complete sense when you view L. Ron’s life in that light. You could even say this composition was the punchline to a lifetime of pocket-emptying tomfoolery.
So, Xenu bless you, L. Ron Hubbard…you hilarious fucking bastard.
This is the album that shepherded me into the rolling knolls of Vinyl Hunters Valley. This is because it causes the most mysterious synaptic firings within my squishy grey matter. Makes my temples swell with a pleasing uneasiness. Causes mysterious pockets within my loins to quake and flutter.
It's my HEAD, Schwartz, it's MY HEAD!
OK, so basically I have no idea what it does to me but I’m certain it transmits some sort of ultrasonic frequency that says, “GO ON EBAY AND BUY A TURNTABLE RIGHT NOW. NOT LATER, NOW. TURN OFF COPS, YOU’VE SEEN THIS EPISODE, GUY, BUY ONE NOW.” So I did and never looked back.
Despite the fact that I love, love, love this album I’ve been avoiding reviewing it here because it’s difficult to capture the essence with letters. Most stereoponies love to saddle the “Trip Hop” label onto this album but that does it no justice whatsoever. That term conjures the visions of hippies listening to hip hop, smoking a big J and spouting, “whoa man this rap groove is, like, so trippy. It’s totally gnarring my buzz, man.” While this album will most likely multiply and sassify marijuana-induced intoxication it’s so unfair to tie it to pot culture. Endtroducing would never, EVER get caught dead in patchwork corduroy pants.
Our youth are under attack.
Other bucking vinylbroncos like to describe the album by mentioning Endtroducing’s ingredients: hip hop, jazz, psychedelia, movie dialogue, television show trialogue, percussion samples etc. However none of these phonocowboys can ever really capture this wild one. True, you get a flavor of each along the winding train ride through British Columbia that is Endtroducing but it’s so much more than bits and pieces. It’s like describing your favorite pizza to a friend and saying, “Yeah man I had this awesome food today it was, like, a bit of tomato, flour, a touch of salt and some, like, I think cheese.” Those ingredients are all fine and good but separately they wouldn’t do an Adriatico’s Bearcat Pizza justice just like calling this album a fusion of genres is a crime. The sum is much greater than the parts.
I think, maybe, this album is like watching the most beautiful little bubble you ever saw. You can watch it dance on the wings of an invisible wind but as soon as you try to capture the damn thing in your hands it’s gone. You’ve taken your dirty little paws and ruined such a magical, delicate thing. You should be ashamed of yourself. We were all having such a wonderful time watching that little orb. Next time chill out, stop trying to bottle it up and just behold its angelic splendor while the gettin’s good.
"From listening to records I just knew what to do...mainly I taught myself. And you know I did pretty well...there were a few mistakes that I have just recently cleared up. I'd just like to continue to be able to express myself as best as I can. I feel like I have a lot of work to do still. I'm a student of the drums and I'm also a teacher of the drums too. And I would like to be able to continue to let what is inside of me, which comes from all of the music that I hear, I'd like for that to come out, and it's like it's not really me...the music's coming through me."
What’s truly incredible about Endtroducing is how it was composed. You have to remember that this was created in 1996 and if anyone even had a laptop it could maybe hold a gigabyte of files, if you were lucky and rich. In addition, music manipulation software like AudioMulch or Adobe Audition hadn’t been invented yet. So, Shadow had to use an Akai MPC-60 music sampler/beat machine to cut, splice, and melt his tracks together. If you then take into consideration exactly how much trial and error of listening to thousands of big vinyl discs it took to find the necessary sounds for the album it becomes evident that either a miracle was performed in the making of Endtroducing or Shadow’s some sort of DJ genius. I prefer to believe the latter, especially after taking watching the following video.
So if you haven’t heard this album, regardless of what music you’re into, you need to get in the boat and get your float on. If you’re a fan you can always use a higher quality rip. And, if you really want to get deep, pick up the vinyl and take a voyage into the continental divide…of your mind!!!!
Download link taken down at the record label’s request, but….you can purchase this album here!
This is a throwback selection of tracks from various porn films during the 70′s. The record label contests that this disc ”is much more than your stereotypical ‘whacka-chicka’ music.” The music’s style does vary throughout the disc but always keeps embracing lovers randy n’ dandy. It’ll also bring solo males to a state of maximum plumpage during their matinée viewing of equal parts deep penetration and moist pube lube.
The titles of these tracks and the movies in which they played in are simply hilarious:
SIDE A
01. Grateful Head (from “Jaynee’s Woodstock Adventure”)
02. In My El Camino (from “The Beaver Hunter”)
03. Gus On The Bus (from “The Traveling Salesman”)
04. Sweet Juices (from “Honeydew”)
05. Special Delivery (from “Lonely Mrs. Johnson”)
SIDE B
01. Dr. Mann’s Prescription (from “Insatiable”)
02. Do You Dance? (from “Right of Passage”)
03. O (from “The Story of Y”)
04. Carma’s Theme (from “Studio 69”)
05. Malibu High (from “Ride Me Like A Wave”)
06. Two Is Better Than One (from “Rosemary Cloney”)
I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have been a porn enthusiast back in the day. True aficionados were really dedicated to the cause because it wasn’t just a keyword, a click and presto: titties all up in your face . No, no, no these men had to make their way downtown or to the closest highway off ramp and visit a theatre built explicitly for X-rated films. In this theatre of sin they sat in crusty seats with a gang of other creeps and watched “The Beaver Hunter.” It was a team effort with plenty of side-glancing and glad-handing.
I wonder if the porno patrons would get popcorn for the movie. Just imagine how hard it would be to balance a tub of popcorn on your lap with one hand while you’re playing a furious game of pocket pool with the other. You’d spill it all over your lap, you’d have grease stains soaking your nice baby blue leisure suite…Jesus, how embarrassing. Well, if you split a bucket with a friend it wouldn’t be so bad. Just wedge that monster right between the outside of his and your thighs and really dig in as a pair. Only trouble is you’d have to match a lefty with a righty and that’s a whole other story right there.
God, what it must have smelled like in there. All those mustachioed, tinted-prescription glasses-wearing hombres workin’ up a deep sweat. Tricklin’ all over the place in a poorly ventilated theatre with a roof that most likely leaked as well. Mildewed carpet, mildewed walls, mildewed man parts. Oh, the humanity.
Hopefully this video, sans music from the throbbin’ record, will get your mind off of the aroma of dewy man sack swallowed whole by cheap polyester seat cushions.
This album consists of songs that weren’t actually in the movie but rather “inspired” by it. I have a feeling that these tracks were considered for the original score but Kubrick didn’t have quite enough room. It’s a shame because the songs in Vol. 2 are quite good. So, you can consider this collection an excellent supplementary B-Side set to the original, if you so desire. I have to admit I prefer Vol. 2 to the original because the songs have a darker, deep space feel. More insane warp tunnel/Spacebaby, less space station/moon base.
This selection composted by Richard Strauss is heard at the opening of the motion picture “2001: A Space Odyssey” Karl Böhm conducts the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.
2. Leo Delibes – Coppélia
(This) was composed by Leo Delibes and conducted by Herbert von Karajan and the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra. As in the film. Mr. von Karajan’s performance conveys the feeling of the graceful rocket ships speeding through space.
3. György Ligeti – Lontano
Ligeti’s contribution to the music in “2001:” was very important. This selection, which does not appear in the film, was conducted by Ernest Bour and the Südwestfunk Orchestra.
4. Anton Webern – Entflieht Auf Leichten Kähnen
Written by one of the innovators of modern music with words by Stefan George. It is performed by Clytus Gottwald and the Stuttgart Schola Cantorum, who performances also appeared in the motion picture.
5. Richard Strauss – Waltzes From Der Rosenkavalier
Karl Böhm conducts the Berlin Philharmonic. Again, spacious music for outer space.
6. Richard Strauss – Thus Sprach Zarathustra (Part 2)
Additional exciting music from Richard Strauss symphonic poem from the original recording by Karl Böhm and the Berlin Philharmonic.
7. György Ligeti – Volumina
Performed by organist Karl-Erik Welin. This impressive Ligeti music give the feeling of rushing through space.
8. Aram Khachaturian – Berceuse
From Khachaturian’s “Gayne Ballet Suite.” This was conducted by Gennadi Rozhdestvensky and the Leningrad Philharmonic Orchestra. Both the conductor and the composer were well represented in the motion picture.
9. György Ligeti – Requiem
This is another part of Ligeti’s Requiem,” a portion of which appeared in the original film. This, however, is performed by the Hessian Symphony Orchestra conducted by Michael Gielen.
10. Charles Gounod – Margarethe
Charles Gounod’s music by the Radio-Symphony orchestra of Berlin and conducted by Ferenc Fricsay, also gives impressions of graceful objects speeding through space to the accompaniment of graceful music.
Ce disque te donnera un sentiment très sexy. Non seulement qu’il vous incitera à vouloir orner votre maison avec les modes les plus fines de tweed et de velours. Soyez averti : votre amoureux ne sera pas efficace après l’expérience des battements de succulent et d’offre de ce film. Il changera votre vie des manières terribles que vous ne pourriez pas probablement imaginer. Svp don’ ; cri de t, il rendra seulement des choses plus mauvaises. Recherchez juste par votre histoire et texte de téléphone le compagnon le plus attirant. Tout sera parfait.
It’s nearly impossible to comprehend the perfect symbiosis between Back to the Future and “The Power of Love” . I mean can you seriously imagine watching M.J. Fox skitch on the back of that Wrangler through downtown Hill Valley without the bitchin’ soundtrack? I refuse to accept even the notion of a reality where anyone, let alone the deviously charming Michael J., could make it through a scene thrashing along to this song:
Okay, so maybe I can picture that if it was Alec Baldwin (if he took a modded DMC-12 back 5 years to the set of Miami Blues)on that skateboard. However, Dr. Emmitt Brown would never have accepted Alec Baldwin as a scrappy protege with a heart of gold so that scenario goes right out the window. No, “The Power of Love” was this flash of brilliance, something that won’t be rivaled for the next century at the absolute minimum.
But…there is one thing that is better than The Power of Love. That single thing, so monumental it’s said to be inscribed in the footnotes of the Rosetta Stone, is The Power of Love EXTENDED DANCE MIX. Yes, your eyes have not deceived you. It does exist and is hermetically sealed within the .zip file encased at the bottom of this entry. Just don’t look directly into it. Only the good Lord knows what will happen.
***As a side note it should be mentioned that The Power of Love has legitimate therapeutic value. When I was just over 2 years old I, like many children that age, had a mild speech impediment. I assure you it was entirely adorable and not annoying in the slightest sense. My L’s and R’s, perhaps from too many Freeze Pops, were transformed cruelly into W’s without any warning so that Power of Love became Powew of Wuv.
I can remember the exact moment whenI realized my mouth was betraying me. I was sitting in the back of my parent’s station wagon in Salt Lake while we were pulling into our apartment complex. The Power of Love was playing on the radio and I was singing along because it’s physically impossible not to. I was just having a gay old time when I think it was my cousin pointed out how I was gnarling the consonants beyond recognition. “It’s PoweRR of LLLove, not PoweWWWW of WWWuvvv.” Suddenly it was like a switch went off in my little skull and BAM! I was no longer baby but not yet big boy and unable to cope with the heartbreak associated with joining the little boy crew. I knew things were changing. I was ready for action. I was ready for LOVE.
Ok, so I’ve never actually never seen Pretty In Pink. I only have the most basic grasp of what the movie is about. I know there is a guy named Ducky and he wears all sorts of awesome clothes and he’s really funny. I know that Molly Ringwald is in this and she’s really good at expressing sad faces and general disappointment. And there’s this other dude Andrew McCarthy that kind of looks like a serial rapist in the same vein as Ted Bundy. I’m not sure what Andrew McCarthy does but I think Molly Ringwald really digs him despite the fact that Ducky is obviously cooler, with his sick threads and pompadour hairdo.
And to tell you truth it’s not that I haven’t had the chance to watch the movie. Molly has the DVD and by judging her movie habits I’d estimate she’s seen it somewhere in the ballpark of 200 times. That’s a conservative estimate. No, I’ve been waiting to see it because I’ve been afraid that it will ruin the soundtrack for me.
Until I picked this album up yesterday from a guy selling records out of a horse barn in Covington I’d only heard the soundtrack at one other location: Christy’s Rathskeller in Clifton. For those who haven’t been there I’ll give a brief description. The rathskeller is positioned beneath Lenhardt’s German/Hungarian restaurant which inhabits a 19th century mansion built by a Cincinnati Beer Baron from the Moerlein family. As you’d expect from a Germanic demi-castle the basement is dark, dank and smothered in fine wood appointments. Strewn across the walls are pictures from the early 90s of the bar’s patrons donning large metal-rimmed glasses, new jean shorts, and ill-fitting BUM equipment sweatshirts. For some reason, along with their barfly exposé, Christy’s never got around to updating their jukebox since the first Gulf War.
The rathskeller’s jukebox has a copy of the Pretty In Pink Soundtrack. I am a hopeless jukebox hero. Can’t get enough of it. I’m also a sucker for 80s prom songs. So of course I would play something from this disc almost every time I slipped a $5 into the slot. After a few drinks of Wild Turkey and Ginger ale I’d fade away into my past where I had my first encounter with cool in the 80s…..
I was 5 years old in the first half of 1988. In my neighborhood there was a teenage girl who thought it would be a good idea to ask her crush to prom by putting together a jar full of candy with a note attached that stated “Will you go to the prom with me because omg your butt is, like, SO rotund” as an invitation. Of course she was too nervous to deliver said invitation personally so I was chosen for the task. I don’t really know why it seemed like a good idea to send a 5-year-old boy into a classroom before first bell with a memorized poem and a jar full of jellybeans to talk to a high school boy but it was the 80s and things were different back then. Everyone was living the satin dream. Anyway, I forgot the poem as soon as I stepped in the room and just handed this jar of jellybeans to a dude who looked twice as confused as I was. I don’t know if they went to the dance, it doesn’t really matter.
What does matter is that my impression of cool was formed from what I saw when I walked through the halls of that high school in Sandy City, Utah. Big hair, big shoulder pads, tight pants, baggy shirts, maybe some hip kid was rocking the first run of LA Gears. Neon fabric as far as the eye can see. Basically, everyone wanted to look like the cover of this album. Frump on top, party on the bottom.
I’m deathly afraid that when I watch Pretty In Pink my memory of what cool was will be washed away and replaced by Andrew McCarthy’s unsettling upper lip. It will just sit there on my lobes, twitching, eyeing me with imaginary mustache eyes. I just hope the soundtrack and I can still be friends after her best friend Andrew forces his sweaty paw down my pants after I pass out from too much sparkling wine while attending the Fancy Town Ball. My tears will be infinite.
Track List
1. Orchestral Maneouvres In The Dark – If You Leave
2. Suzanne Vega w/ Joe Jackson – Left Of Center
3. Jesse Johnson – Get To Know Ya
4. INXS – Do Wot You Do
5. The Psychedelic Furs – Pretty In Pink
6. New Order – Shellshock
7. Bolouis Some – Round, Round
8. Danny Hutton Hitters – Would It Be Good
9. Echo & The Bunnymen – Bring On The Dancing Horses
10. The Smiths – Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
This is yet another album that I picked up because of the cover. I hadn’t seen the movie but Charles Bronson just chilling there with his gat resting on a popup map of the city made me all tingly. I’ve since seen all of the movies and marveled at just how many shady folks were willing to step into the path of Master Marksman Bronson. I’m pretty sure the body count for the complete Death Wish saga must easily total over 2 million. It also cracked me up how flamboyant the villains in these movies are–I totally expected them to bust into high art choreography at any point during the seemingly infinite gun fights.
Here’s a fab electrocution slaying from Death Wish 2
Anyway, this is a legitimately badass soundtrack scored by Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin fame. I highly recommend it if you’re a fan of any mind altering drugs; especially sparkly gold spray paint. It will give you that static zing you’ve been craving.
